In the hectic thirty minutes that start every day at Whitlock, Jack tries to retrieve his massage chair from Whitlock's intriguing payroll accountant, Lynette. Durbin and Helen prepare for the morning announcements. Michelle gives a eulogy.
When one of Jack's students anonymously reports him for canceling their much anticipated fetal pig dissection, he sets out to find the snitch. Durbin's chances at Principal of the Year are in jeopardy when the superintendent visits.
Jack's war with his neighbor reaches a turning point when it threatens to ruin a date with Lynette. When the school photographer ups his rate, Durbin takes school pictures into his own hands.
As the school prepares for winter break, Jack tries to record a lecture as a way into the University of Wisconsin's philosophy department; frustrated and unable to finish the video, he falls asleep and has nightmares.
The college fair comes to Whitlock, and Sarika has an offer for Jack: Get her into Harvard, and she'll get his book into the hands of her publisher aunt; Stef prepares for a visit from a fling; Helen applies to college.
Jack is enraged to find that the A.P. Bio students have stolen his beloved Harvard pen after he asked them not to touch it; Principal Durbin and Helen repeatedly fail the superintendent's inspections.
Jack uses Michelle's annual murder mystery party to impress Lynette. Meanwhile, in a moment of desperation, the students break into Whitlock High to steal the A.P. Bio practice exams.
After an embarrassing video of him falling off a stage goes viral, Jack plans a viral video of his own. Durbin, Helen and the teachers track down Whitlock's most notorious litterer: The Sugar Daddy.
When budget cuts threaten to gut Whitlock and put his job in jeopardy, Jack recruits Mary, Stef and Michelle to take down the superintendent. Durbin plans an appeal to the heart, while the students plan an appeal to the soul.