4/10
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
18 September 2022
After witnessing a horrific killing, a TV reporter begins investigating a popular night club where the cenobite Pinhead lays dormant.

Hellraiser III stars Terry Farrell as Joey, a reporter who's frustrated with the assignments she's been sent on. After witnessing a unexplainable death, she teams up with Terri (Paula Marshall), a homeless clubgoer, and the two investigate the events of the previous movies as well as a club called "The Boiler Room".

Meanwhile, douchebag club owner J. P. Monroe (Kevin Bernhardt) purchases The Pillar of Souls seen at the end of Hellraiser II from an art show (except the pillar is now completely stone, rather than wood). Unsurprisingly, Pinhead escapes and goes on a rampage throughout the city - which is New York, as opposed to the UK setting of the first two films.

Hellraiser III commits the sin of being generic as... Hell (pun intended). The nightmare fueled visuals of the first two installments are gone; instead, Pinhead is dropped into mundane apartments, city streets, a nightclub, and even a field during broad daylight. The film looks like every other early-1990's horror movie.

Story wise, at the risk of sounding redundant, I have to once again invoke the word "generic". The characters are bland; the plot is predictable. Worse, there isn't much horror here. Sure, there's gore, but there's no tension. We're never really worried about any particular character's safety (though that's partially due to how forgettable they are). In fact, I'd say Hellraiser III has more action than horror, thanks to an explosion filled third act featuring a battle with the Cenobites. Speaking of whom...

Unlike the previous movies, Pinhead (Doug Bradley) gets a ton of screen time. This is a problem because Hellraiser III's version of Pinhead is terrible! When he's not belting out awful one-liners, he's always laughing or screaming; the character is insanely over the top. Furthermore, the filmmakers also screwed up the Pinhead's look. The nails in his head are way too big (they're supposed to be pin nails - it's in the name!), there's not enough blueing around the eyes, and nothing was done to his voice in post production. Pinhead is a mockery in this movie; a dollar store version of Freddy Krueger.

As for the rest of the Cenobites, none of the other originals (Butterball, Chatterer, Deep Throat) return. Instead, we get hilariously bad replacements which include a DJ who shoots CDs as a weapon, and one with a film camera for an eye. I wouldn't even call them Cenobites; they're more like Deadites from the Evil Dead series, constantly spouting out one liners. If you didn't know any better you'd think the big action scene featuring these characters was some kind of weird parody.

In summary, Hellraiser III isn't the worst horror movie I've ever seen, or even the worst major franchise sequel I've ever seen. I almost gave it a 5, but upon reflection I couldn't really think of any positives. It's paced well and the story is told in a coherent fashion, but the actual content is pretty bad. Maybe this one will age well in a "so bad it's good" kind of way, but for now I'm giving it a 4. I was disappointed.

...and considering I couldn't find the next 6 Hellraiser movies on any streaming platform and had to shell out $44.99 for them, the fact that Hellraiser III - considered to be one of the better sequels - was a complete bomb isn't leaving me feeling so good about my investment...
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