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mason25
Reviews
Unfrosted (2024)
Star filled casts don't mean anything if everything else sucks
This dumpster fire should have never seen the first stage after being written, but because it's Jerry Seinfeld, it of course was given the green light, presumably without anyone even checking the script or to see there wasn't any real plot.
Everyone keeps stating that Hugh Grant blah blah blah. It doesn't matter who is in this movie, it's written for Jerry, by Jerry. So if it brings him and him along joy, than I guess he succeeded. Anyone else with 3 brian cells would easily see this for what it is, and it's terrible.
Garbage filling in more words for some inane reason that doesn't contribute anything.
De uskyldige (2021)
Nearly perfect
Whilst it wasn't a grand masterpiece, it was definitely a front runner in the genre.... except that that genre was NOT horror, and it was NOT mystery. It was a psychological thriller, heavy on the psychological, ver6 light on the thriller.
The actresses and actors were phenomenal, especially given their ages, I would honestly put this at miles ahead of the dozens of slasher/horror/thriller movies that I've watched in the last 6 months.
It could have leaned a bit more in to Anna's autism IF that played any part in her abilities or not, or she just happened to be autistic. Same for Ida, she had a power, didn't do much with it in the last 15 minutes.
It also alluded to many other kids in the area either having their own powers, or at least being able to sense them in others. That's just me though, I hate leaving things unfinished/unexplained.
Huge negative for whoever did the subtitles/translation, sometimes words just weren't subtitled, guess I didn't need to know what was said..... or translated wrong, as a few times the same words were spoken, yet different subtitles given. I speak not one word of whatever it was, but back to back usage of the same words, definitely shouldn't result in different subtitles.
Going to check out the directors and writers other movies now.
Civil War (2024)
Shot decently but terrible movie in every other aspect
As per title, it just didn't deliver anything at all.
Zero empathy or care about a single character in the entire movie, they weren't even worth disliking, they simply weren't worth caring about in any way whatsoever. So when one of them died, meh, let's just move on and see where this snoozefest takes us next.
What's her face dying at the end, utterly pointless. As a news agent who for some reason feels being a part of the breaching squad, you would NEVER stand out in the middle of a hallway with active shooters in it, you also wouldn't rush out to save the stupid teen who should have known better but thought better of that, so she stood perfectly silhouetted for execution. To top off that idiocy, teem girl somehow has the wherewithal to snap some super sweet photos of her saviors execution.
As many others have stated, it's a movie without a plot, without logic, without value.
As a free torrent download, I still feel ripped off as it wasted 2 hours of my time and sucked. Had I paid to see this, I would not have been happy.
Come to Daddy (2019)
How to make an idea in to a boring collection of scenes
It started out weird, but not in a good way, just a confusing mixup of banal events that don't matter. Followed by some mind numbingly stupid stuff that also doesn't matter. Ended with more boring stuff.
This movie was NOT a horror in the slightest.
This movie was NOT a comedy, not one single funny scene or line.
Most importantly though: This movie was NOT worth watching.
This movie was NOT a horror in the slightest.
This movie was NOT a comedy, not one single funny scene or line.
Most importantly though: This movie was NOT worth watching.
This movie was NOT a horror in the slightest.
This movie was NOT a comedy, not one single funny scene or line.
Most importantly though: This movie was NOT worth watching.
The Seed (2021)
What an absolutely terrible POS
Things to stop doing in any movie.
STOP FILMING IN THE FKN DARK. Idiots that never turn on a light all need to be shot. Hiding your terrible special effects isn't worth ANYTHING if we can't even see who or what is on screen.
STOP writing dialog that would make a 10 year old ask questions on the intellectual capacity of who and what's going on on screen.
STOP referring to what is clearly an alien as a fkn armadillo/bear thing. Three air heads who don't have a single brain cell between them to share, fill the movie with some of the oddest choices and dialog ever recorded.
Shooting the directer and writer would be a boon to the cinematic community so that no one will ever be tricked in to watching their terrible efforts.
STOP driving a side by side in first gear. Clearly this was a rental prop and they were told to not exceed first gear.
I will give the props department a little kudos, they didn't do a bad job on the practical effects.
Abigail (2024)
Not perfect but very well done and entertaining
The gore is perfect, the plot is one that's been done before, the micro twist is basically The Usual Suspects, and all of it is entertaining.
The exceptions to the positives are watching Dean, he talks like a junkie and just doesn't fit the caliber of the rest of the thrown together crew. We also don't hear how the two dead people were tied in to her. Not major but still an issue.
The most obvious filming issue was that they apparently spent an entire day inside in about 20 to 30 minutes whilst most definitely not accomplishing even 8 hours worth of activity.
All in all though, it was a well done movie that kept you engaged enough to not care about the minor issues.
Gisaengsu: Deo geurei (2024)
One episode watched and dropped
The premise is awesome, the visuals aren't terrible, especially for not being Hollywood, but oh god is it terrible listening to the character dialog. Absolutely horrendously written and executed.
The main anti parasite lead female opens up a presentation to a room full of professional law enforcement agents and she sounds like a fkn airhead teenager putting on, as one of the people there mentioned, a talent show.
I don't care WHERE a movie is made, if you have dialog in a show aimed at adults, DO NOT HAVE THEM SPEAK LIKE CHILDREN. That takes nothing more than a good writer, or editor, or producer or... the list goes on and on for the number of people who could have halted the idiocy.
Le Mans (1971)
Terrible dumpster fire that was put out with manure
Title says it all, just absolutely terrible.
Sure seeing some old race cars was nice, hearing the authentic audio of them wasn't bad either. But to call this a movie in any sense beyond being a self indulgent bit of drivel for McQueen to insert himself into something he loves... would be a stretch beyond words.
Toby Halicki did a much much MUCH better job being self indulgent in making Gone in 60 Seconds.
There isn't even much that made sense in the movie. You weren't kept up-to-date on where racers were positioned throughout 23.5 hours of their race, only informed at the very end.
Also why bother yanking a driver only for McQueen to cover quite literally the last 8 minutes, 2 laps, to the finish??? The car had been broken for what seemed quite an extended period of time.
I'll never watch this POS again, though I'll happily pop in Days of Thunder, or Ford vs Ferrari, or any of a dozen other genre related movies to get my car fix.
Spaceman (2024)
It's been done before and done much better with much less
The only thing this movie had going for it was the cast, there was nothing special that set this apart from any other movie done in the exact same setting and exact same genre.
Saying that, Adam Sandler brought NOTHING new or special to it except maybe helped in securing a larger budget for better special effects.
These movies though can be done on a shoestring budget and be just as effective with careful editing.
This one focused on all the wrong parts and drew them out way way wayyyy too long. How stupid could Jakub be that every last time he wanted to speak to his wife, who clearly had lost interest years ago, that mission control had nothing but excuses for weeks?
All in all, pretty poorly done movie in a genre with much better entries.
The Dare (2019)
Another terrible dumpster fire that never should have been made
The title says it all. Anyone comparing this to SAW is only doing a disservice to SAW. At least those movies were well done, had a coherent plot even if very far fetched, and were great gore and slasher style movies.
This was just gore without a good reason, which can work if that's ALL it is. Except this ISN'T that, this tried to have a plot like it mattered, and 2 seconds of evaluation and you can start picking ALL of the movie apart.
He's been stuck out in a house in the woods presumably hunting for his food, since no one has seen him in 20 years.... but no one has seen him hunting in those 20 years either.... he also has power... from somewhere. He must be all caught up on his land taxes, water bill and electric. Don't worry, he bartered and paid in sticks and leaves.
He repeatedly turns his back on his captives, all of who don't recognize each other, or their names.... they must have been super friends. They all repeatedly have astonishing opportunities to stab, cut or in some way harm him, but they just obey his motioned commands.
Then 20 seconds later when in a less than opportune moment, without a weapon, they become brave. Sure.
Dominic also gets stabbed in the back, kidneys or maybe lower lung area, maybe even through in to his intestines, with a bowie knife, that isn't the kind of wound you shake off, but he does. It doesn't bother him in the slightest, nor do the 2 or 3 definite lung punctures later on. Those are trivial.
TL/DR, garbage that shouldn't be watched. It's not even good to watch to make fun of because nothing is consistent. Not even continuity.
Wintertide (2023)
What an absolutely terrible movie. About as boring as boring can be.
It gets it's only stars for the quality of camera work and audio. Not one single thing aside from those is worth giving any sort of praise for.
The plot: STUPID
The characters: beyond stupid
The characters choices/script writing: TERRIBLE.
The "allegory" or whatever it was aiming for, MISSED BY ONE HUNDRED MILES.
This movie just flat out sucked. It was paced on a glacial scale, and ended up nowhere.
Absolutely zero "science" or even pseudo movie science to make ANY of it make sense.
Her father could have EASILY left her a note stating what she was subconsciously doing, or just spoken with her for a few minutes. Nope that didn't happen until the end when he does, and invites her to stay..... because now the threat is over.... except it wasn't.
The town or whatever has next to zero people in it, yet the streets are all plowed, apparently by one guy in a pickup truck.... guess DOT is over doing it with their big plow trucks.
She's basically the town wh*re, nothing wrong with it, but you'd think she might realize that SHE'S the problem a whole lot sooner if every last person she hooks up with suddenly gets drained.
This town also has a "science division" of a sort, securely locking away all the sucked dry folks.... surely she wasn't the only one causing this issue.... or she's REALLY been getting around.
No one has thought to shoot the sorta zombies, that would make too much sense.
Or carry a weapon at all... just because.
We've also got a public/communal heated nude swimming pool or cleaning spot for some reason. I don't mind seeing some titties when it makes sense, but why would anyone go to this place if they still have running water at their own homes?
TL/DR, avoid this pile of sht as you would any other pile you see when walking. It's terrible from start to finish and I sincerely hope the directors and writers and even the actors, NEVER work again at even attempting to make an "entertaining" anything.
Code 8: Part II (2024)
How this has a 5.7 rating is mind boggling.
Boring doesn't even begin to sum this snore fest up.
Nothing of interest happens from start to finish. Nothing unexpected either.
Absolutely, 100% formulaic and dulled down for some reason that I can't even begin to fathom.
I mean, it had the potential to be interesting, people with super powers is just a quick and easy "that's interesting", yet this one decided it wanted no part of that and went straight to boring.
Characters do nothing logical.
Beyond all of that, I couldn't stand for one instance that our main character "rescues" Pavani and INSTANTLY starts calling her "Pav".... WHAT THE FK??? She didn't request it on screen and it seemed so out of place every last time he said it, as if they were long time friends.
Her "astonishing" power of electronic vision was about as boring as it gets, and the whole plot or revealing one single cop as a power user, beyond old and worn out.
Damsel (2024)
Exceptionally well done in 90% of all areas
This could have been a perfect 10 had it leaned a little more in to being an adult movie, in terms of violence/gore/plot. Not that it needed to be much gorier, they got away with a ton of violence visuals for a pg13, they just would or could have looked better if they werejust that extra bit more realistic, vs meeting a rating.
The plot wasn't new or anything groundbreaking, but it works. They did a good enough job with the story that it didn't need to be an entirely new one.
I did feel a couple things things she did didn't seem true to anything. Like cutting off her hair to make a rope.
Falling in the crystal area and not being absolutely shredded.
Overall though, as a pg13 nearing an adult rating, it was a great adventure, with a phenomenally well done dragon. I would rank the dragon a 10/10 for being a D&D representative. Not sure which species, but this was a vindictive, dangerous apex predator with a motive.
Dororo (2019)
If over-rated needed a poster, this is it.
The plot overall wasn't bad, the plot per episode was pretty terrible.
Also the amount of contradictions that happen, for no reason, just why.
The artwork and most of the fighting was amazing, loved it.
Hated pretty much everything else.
More characters to meet the minimum
The plot overall wasn't bad, the plot per episode was pretty terrible.
Also the amount of contradictions that happen, for no reason, just why.
The artwork and most of the fighting was amazing, loved it.
Hated pretty much everything else.
Skip this in favor of something better that used actual writers with brains, this doesn't have any.
Jethica (2022)
Solidly terrible
I watched it and it sucked, it's a short skit/outer limits/twilight zone drawn out a bit, with absolutely zero surprise twist whatsoever. The other reviewer saying it's a subtle dark comedy is way off the mark. It is anything but funny, or good, or even worth watching. It is bad, from start to finish, without a single redeeming scene in it.
She runs a guy down whilst texting and driving a lonely back road, somehow zero damage to her car or no questions asked about repairing it.
She somehow lives and has money in her grandma's trailer home in the middle of nowhere... sure, why not, jobs aren't needed for income, AND her grandma was of course a mystic who lives on an old Indian burial ground, or whatever. Which pet semetarys things brought near it.
Then it ends.
Even for an indie movie, this just wasn't worth the time.
I've watched plenty of movies with budgets that match this or had less, yet somehow with some clever writing, were blockbusters by comparison.
Avoid this at all costs.
Saying all that, none of the camera work was really to fault, it was shot admirably for an indie movie, so that's where the 2 stars are coming from.
Beau Is Afraid (2023)
What a self indulgent navel gazing snore fest
This 3 hour pile of sht just goes no where and it takes forever to get there. None of it makes sense, even within it's own world of idiocy.
The wife and I were calling it within 10 minutes, saying that it was all in his head, the entire world. That he was actually a patient in a mental institution and that everything else would be revealed to actually be happening in said hospital.
Nope, not to be, it was just a directors love letter to himself, no better than if Ari had just filmed himself masterbating for 3 hours and released it as a movie.
About the only interesting aspect was that you just know there are people out there who view the world like Beau does, and that it's just how they see things, regardless of what's truly there.
The audio was also horrible, constantly needed to go from a reasonable 17 for the loud parts, up to over 40 for the whispered conversations.
Phoaquin Phoenix didn't help at all with his non stop mumbling and drooling idiocy that was incomprehensible without subtitles. Speaking of which, holy fk would it kill amazon to actually ever CHECK THE FKN THINGS FOR ALIGNMENT??? An hour in and they were delayed 2 to 4 seconds, by the second hour 4 to 6, and near the end it was nearly 10 seconds behind any applicable audio.
The Hitcher (1986)
Crazy to rate it any higher
Sure it nails a weird sense of suspense and psychoticness, but it misses the mark by a mile on everything else.
Continuity, out the window, plausibility, that's in another universe altogether.
From the opening sequence, dark stormy night, goes by a parked car and it's dusk or dawn.... sure it is, then it's right back to a torrential downpour. Repeat that a few times throughout the movie.
Complete lunacy with the psycho showing up everywhere he goes...yup nailed it. Logically though WHAT THE F???? Nope not a chance in hell of it making sense.
Especially when he shows up in the motel room. Did they forget to lock their door??? Did he climb through the Die Hard sized ducting vents and ghost in to the room???
Absolutely no one in the entire movie thought for 2 minutes or listened to anyone else.
The Underdoggs (2024)
It is exactly what you expect.
Not one single new thing in this movie. It's Snoop as you've seen him in every last movie he's ever been in, so subpar and basic, with a huge helping of stereotypes so out of date that Snoop is showing his senior citizenship.
Amazingly in a movie about football, they don't go into any depth whatsoever beyond showing some kids playing football.
Most scenes are so over the top fake or filled with Mike Epps levels of idiocy, that it just pulls you out of the movie every time.
Also why perpetuate the stereotypical ghetto talk
"Why is you...", speak like a regular human already, Why are you..."
Overall though, like others have posted, the movie sets out to accomplish a story and it does it with it's own style. It's just sad at how stupid that style happens to be.
Retribution (2023)
What an astonishing mess to have been green lit and released
The acting wasn't horrible, but the character choices were all so moronic. Nearly all of the movies issues would have been solved if anyone involved had more than 4 brain cells.
Just sharing information would have gone a long long way towards dispelling issues, or at least towards helping the characters interact in a way that would make sense.
Just telling someone else the exact problem, "there's a bomb under the seat", and then his kids or wife or europol agent MIGHT have just taken him a bit more seriously and listened to him.
The guy wanting him to do things made it seem as if he could see him the entire time, which would only have made sense if he was tapped in to the vehicles cameras/sensors, but nope, he was doing it the old school way, just plain old following in an invisible car that no one else can see.
He also demands that he transfer some funds whilst participating in a high speed chase/evasion of the cops.... as if he isn't possibly a bit more busy with driving.
When the cops have him stopped, the so called sniper has a high powered scope for the 50 or 60 meter shot, on top of that, literally on top of his scope, he has a red dot mounted at a 45°, which makes no sense, the entire goal of sights of any kind are to be as close to the barrels bore as possible, to maintain accuracy. By elevating the red dot 4 inches high and offset, means he's never going to hit anything accurately that isn't at the EXACT distance he set it up for. Any other shot will be off by more than an acceptable amount.
The Discarded (2019)
Absolutely zero logical sense
Had the premise of the movie been different, it may have been plausible, but as a well known regular run of the mill debt relief program that everyone knows about.... not so much.
In the world within the movie, it's clear that people can go missing enmasse, and no one ever goes looking for them or raisinging awareness of it.
Keeping in mind that the people the program is taking or enslaving, are people who are deep in debt. Not exactly the most able bodied people. They then proceed to enslave them to doing the most meaningless of all labors, clear cutting some forest jungle land for a pipeline.
Why not just spend the money and get the job done properly with proper crews and equipment.
Yes your free labor force will eventually get the job done, but practically it would take them 20 X as long as a real crew, thus delaying the contracting companies progress.
The Eternal Daughter (2022)
If you want a synonym for underwhelming, this is it.
Not much to say, not only was it not very interesting, it wasn't even remotely interesting.
There was absolutely one "twist" that was visible from about 10 to 15 minutes in.
If thus movie had have been listed without a genre, it MIGHT have been a twist that you wouldn't have been sure of, but with it's genre listed, it was just bland, nothing that hasn't been done a dozen times before AND much much better.
Even the "small" hints were like a brick to the face.
It's really a pity though, because Tilda Swinton is definitely capable of having done this plot justice with doing both roles had the director given her even a bit of freedom to actually act.
Basically don't bother watching this unless you want to watch Mrs Swinton for 90 minutes doing very very little.
Oh a positive point, the dog in the movie is her actual dog.
Black Mass (2015)
Decent but not great
It's almost as if every last character was told to be uninteresting when acting. Some of their traits were intriguing, but nothing comes of any of it really. Originally I had added this to be watched for 2 reasons. I love gangster movies, and after finishing up another movie with Jesse Plemons in it, I figured I'd give this one a shot (yeah I'm late to the game on this one).
Alas, Jesse seemed like he'd be interesting in this movie from the very opening sequences, only to have him entirely fade away into the background and have maybe 100 spoken words for the remaining 2 hours.
Also, the time in this movie, it DRAGGED on. I'm not scared of a long movie, just finished Casino the night before, and that was 3 hours and whilst I didn't enjoy it much, it didn't feel like it was dragging on. This one, I kept checking to see how much was left and hoping for when it would go deeper than a surface glance of these events. It never did.
The Boogeyman (2023)
Typical work for Mr. King
I know people grieve in different ways, but a father who is a psychologist, shouldn't quite be shutting out his daughter the way this man does.
I'm the least empathetic person possible but even I could tell when when she was opening up to him that it was the time to listen to youd kid.
When Sadie goes to the Billings house and gets an earful of a shotgun blast in a hallway, there is absolutely nothing her friend could've said that she would have heard. The ringing tone in your ears when you're that close to a weapon going off is going to persist for at least 20 minutes, if it doesn't actually blow your ear drum completely.
Even more ridiculous is the crazy lady rigging her house to shoot the monster, except shotgun shells, or any round really, doesn't do much when not in a barrel forcing it's direction of explosion.
Role Play (2024)
Middle of the road without many real issues
It seemed like it wasn't meant to be taken 100% serious, so we'll cut it a little slack on that front.
It also didn't excel in any area at all, so big drawback there.
It was hard to buy Kaley Cuoco as an action heroine, but she did do a pretty solid job in her role, she just wasn't well muscled to make any of her action really believable.
Dave wasn't bad. Though none of the characters really had in depth backgrounds or personalities, and nothing else was fully fleshed out either.
All in all though, it was done well enough without any glaring technical mistakes.
More more more more more characters.
The Beekeeper (2024)
6 stars for Statham alone, otherwise 3 or 4 at best
As always Jason Statham delivers the goods. The script though wasn't so great. Glaringly ridiculous things happen that make little to no sense.
Mafia boy takes some goons out to grandma's house, and shoot up some beehives.... sure, makes sense if you're 12 and getting revenge.
The replacement girl that shows up at the gas station...WHAT THE F???? If you're a secret agent of basically any sort, your entire persona and style will be nondescript, you want to blend in EVERYWHERE. So of course she shows up, wearing hot pink, some stupid hairdo, oh, and a mini-gun on the back of her pickup.... which she then proceeds to shoot up this gas station, which doesn't seem to have anyone working at it.
Fast forward to the end, and what was with the cowering drunken knife wielding guy at the top of the steps??? I know he's supposed to just throw the fight, he's just an unnamed grunt dressed like all the rest, but wow, go back to training classes on how to make it look believable.
Also of note, are the utterly ridiculous costumes worn by the "special squad" morons. Who also don't seem to be fazed by who is coming after them. Cowboy hats and bright colored leather coats.... they must have shopped at the same place the replacement girl from the gas station did.
Fbi girl, she seemed really really undecided on whether or not she did or did not want to apprehend Statham. She sees he's doing a good thing, doesn't like where it's taking him...OH WELL, let the man work and maybe he'll solve some problems you and your pals obviously can't or won't.
It was decent enough to watch once, might give it another shot in a few years.