Bedazzled (1967)
Eleanor Bron: Margaret
Photos
Quotes
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Stanley Moon : [after having been transformed into a nun] I love you, Margaret.
Margaret Spencer : And I love you, Sister Luna.
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[reading Stanley's suicide note]
Margaret Spencer : "Dear Miss Spencer, This is just to say cheerio. Yours Sincerely, Stanley Moon. P.S.: I leave you my collection of moths."
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Insp. Reg Clarke : Can you remember your exact last words to him?
Margaret Spencer : I think it was "Wimpy Burgers twice, 1 MR, 1 well, heavy on the onions".
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Margaret Spencer : Who's George?
Stanley Moon : He's the Devil. He's not so bad once you get to know his problems.
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Stanley Moon : if you were a girl - which, of course, you are - and if I were a man, which, for argument's sake, let's say I am, and I wanted to touch you, well - I wouldn't feel restrained. I mean, I'd just go right ahead - and - touch you. You see? That's - that's how I am.
Margaret Spencer : I feel the same way. I mean, if two adult human beings want to touch each other, they should go ahead and touch each other. Why hold back?
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Stanley Moon : The incredible thing about the Italians, you know, is the way they touch each other. Have you noticed that?
Margaret Spencer : Yes. Cheers.
Stanley Moon : The Anglo-Saxons have lost the art of touching each other. I mean, if someone wants to touch somebody else then they should go right ahead and touch them. I mean, it's a healthy, human thing to do.
Margaret Spencer : Y-You're so right. There's a tribe in - in Africa who never say a word. They just touch each other. That's how they communicate.
Stanley Moon : Life is far too complicated. I think we should get down to basic elements.
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Stanley Moon : As Rousseau said, we must learn to unlearn - because only by unlearning can we really learn to be.
Margaret Spencer : Your ideas are so exciting!
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Margaret Spencer : This afternoon has been so perfect. The Cinzano. The zoo.
Stanley Moon : The music. The touching.
Margaret Spencer : You're so right about the animals. I mean, that's what we are deep down, underneath our sophisticated civilization and we should behave like they do.
Stanley Moon : Of course. I mean, the fact that it's seven minutes past three in the afternoon wouldn't make any difference to a goat. I mean, Old Billy wouldn't stop to think what time of day it was, would he?
Margaret Spencer : No, it just goes right ahead and does what it feels like. I mean, really, what are people waiting for? I want to live! That's what matters - living. I want to do everything, be everything - feel everything.
[Stanley makes his move]
Margaret Spencer : Rape! Rape!
Stanley Moon : No, no! Margaret! Margaret! The animals! The goats! The touching!
Margaret Spencer : Rape! Rape! Rape!
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Margaret Spencer : Do you like feeling things?
Stanley Moon : Oh, yes, I'm a very - tactile person.
Margaret Spencer : I love *touching* things. Sometimes, I go into the forest and shut my eyes and just wander around touching trees and grass and boulders. Y-You should try it. Do it in here! Go on. Shut your eyes. Now feel something hard.
Stanley Moon : Oh. Ohh! Oh, I'm feeling something terribly hard. It's fantastic.
Margaret Spencer : Oh, now feel something soft.
Stanley Moon : Oh. Oh, my goodness gracious me. Oh, it's unbelievable. Oh, the contrast. I've never felt anything so exciting in my life. Yeah. I love it. Feel my tie.
Margaret Spencer : Oh! Mmm. Oh. It's delicious!
Stanley Moon : Yeah?
Margaret Spencer : Velvet. It's so wild. It really does something to me. Oh.
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Margaret Spencer : Oh, Brahms is just so fantastic! Whenever I feel tense or anything, I put him on, just sprawl on the carpet and let him flow all over me.
Stanley Moon : Would you like a little taste of him now then?
Margaret Spencer : Please! Not that I'm tense or anything. It's just that it would make me even less tense.
Stanley Moon : Go on. Lie down.
Margaret Spencer : Oh, uh, I didn't mean...
Stanley Moon : Let it happen.
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Margaret Spencer : Doesn't it make you sad to see animals caged up like this?
Stanley Moon : Well, in a way, but, uh, quite honestly, they're really no worse off than most of us.
Margaret Spencer : How do you mean?
Stanley Moon : Well, metaphorically speaking and in a very real sense, society creates its own cages. You know, cages of the mind.
Margaret Spencer : Yes. Yes.
Stanley Moon : A curious kind of cerebral captivity.
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Margaret Spencer : We're playing croquet. Why don't you and Peter go away and discuss your affairs?
Stanley Moon : True enough. I suppose we ought to tie up this Venezuelan business.
George Spiggott : Yes. Lord Dowdy, I wonder if you'd be so kind as to take over my blue ball and double up with Daphne.
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Insp. Reg Clarke : Lovely weather we've been having.
Margaret Spencer : Lovely.
Insp. Reg Clarke : Of course, we've been kept pretty busy. It's the summer frocks. I've had three rapes on my hands this morning.
Margaret Spencer : Is that a lot?
Insp. Reg Clarke : Oh, round about the seasonal average.
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Insp. Reg Clarke : I've always had mixed feelings about - rape. I mean, half the time, it's the, uh, the girls that have led things on.
[moves in closer]
Margaret Spencer : I agree with you.
[backs away]
Insp. Reg Clarke : They bring it on themselves, you know. They really do.
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Insp. Reg Clarke : You've got lovely lips, Margaret. Very tempting and alluring. "Lorelei lips" is what I call 'em. Has anyone ever said that before?
Margaret Spencer : No, never.
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Insp. Reg Clarke : I don't want to alarm you, but I'd say that lips like that would be a magnet to sex maniacs.
Margaret Spencer : Really?
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Margaret Spencer : What magic is afoot?
Stanley Moon : Our love is written in the book of fate. There is no escaping it.
Margaret Spencer : This - can't be right - and yet, within my breast beats *such* desire.