Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Scott Caan: Turk Malloy
Photos
Quotes
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Linus Caldwell : [Linus is trying to convince everyone that Danny was actually the leader of "The Benedict Job"] Well, if any of you had a problem, who did you go to?
Basher Tarr , Turk Malloy , Virgil Malloy , Reuben Tishkoff , Livingston Dell , Yen , Frank Catton : [simultaneously] Rusty.
Danny Ocean : Thanks, Linus.
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Linus Caldwell : Um, all right, let's go over the list again. Ah, Swinging Priest?
Basher Tarr : Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell : Crazy Larry?
Turk Malloy : Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell : Soft shoulder?
Basher Tarr : Not enough people.
Linus Caldwell : Baker's dozen?
Basher Tarr : No woman
[pause]
Basher Tarr : and not enough people.
Turk Malloy : Hell in a Handbasket?
Linus Caldwell : [sigh] We can't train a cat that quickly
[pause]
Linus Caldwell : and...
Linus Caldwell , Basher Tarr , Turk Malloy : Not enough people.
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Turk Malloy : It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know.
Virgil Malloy : We got a bag man.
Turk Malloy : Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are.
Virgil Malloy : I have feelings.
Turk Malloy : No, you don't.
Virgil Malloy : Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do?
Turk Malloy : Oh my God they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it.
Virgil Malloy : Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men?
Danny Ocean : Rusty's not 50 years old.
Turk Malloy : Yeah, dude, we know Rusty's not 50.
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Reuben Tishkoff : I can handle Saul's share.
Danny Ocean : You don't have to do that.
Reuben Tishkoff : Who would I talk to if you're all dead?
Danny Ocean : That's a good point. Alright, I owe 10. Amazing?
Yen : [speaks in Mandarin]
Rusty Ryan : [chuckles] Yeah, but it's a nice place.
Livingston Dell : So that comes to?
Reuben Tishkoff : 97, give or take.
Rusty Ryan : He didn't find us on his own. Someone helped him.
Reuben Tishkoff : Another thief.
Linus Caldwell : Well, there's no-one we'd know that would violate rule number one.
Danny Ocean : What we do know is we need a job. We need a high paying job.
Linus Caldwell : Well, now we're too hot to be working anywhere in this country.
Danny Ocean : So we go abroad. How 'bout we go to...
Rusty Ryan : [cuts in] We're on the 5:00.
Danny Ocean : Good. We're we going?
Rusty Ryan : Amsterdam.
Danny Ocean : Amsterdam, it is. Clock's running guys. Let's go.
Linus Caldwell : I've never been to Amsterdam.
Turk Malloy : I hear German girls are really hot.
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Danny Ocean : How much is everyone short?
Turk Malloy : 14.
Virgil Malloy : You're kidding me! You spent all but 5 million?
Turk Malloy : Yes! Are you going to start on me with that too? You don't know what it's like starting something from scratch!
Virgil Malloy : Well, with interest, I'm short 7.
Frank Catton : Eight.
Linus Caldwell : Well, I spent a million on talent development, so I guess that leaves me at 7. Boy, that interest just kills you, man!
Basher Tarr : I'm light 9.
Livingston Dell : What's the interest?
Reuben Tishkoff : 6.
Livingston Dell : Then I owe 6.
Turk Malloy : What?
Livingston Dell : I've been living with my parents.
Rusty Ryan : I owe 25.
[everyone looks at him, he chuckles wryly]
Rusty Ryan : Hotels, man.
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Linus Caldwell : So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!
Basher Tarr : A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?
Linus Caldwell : Yeah!
Basher Tarr : You've gone right out of your tree, my son.
[looking at Turk]
Basher Tarr : He's mad. It's madness.
Turk Malloy : Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short.
Linus Caldwell : No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!
Basher Tarr : You might be right. Make the call.
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Turk Malloy : I'll give you a million dollars if you don't speak for a month.
Virgil Malloy : I wanna eat your whole head.
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Reuben Tishkoff : [banging on the bathroom door] Frank come on let me in.
Turk Malloy : How do you think it feels when you're sitting down on the toilet and someone's banging on the door?
Reuben Tishkoff : Well, I gotta sit down on the toilet or else I'm gonna shit on your feet.
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[on the Night Fox]
Turk Malloy : Come on, he's one guy, and he's French.
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Virgil Malloy : Smoke the freak out.
Danny Ocean : Yeah.
Turk Malloy : Smoke the freak out.
Linus Caldwell : Hey!
Turk Malloy : What?
Linus Caldwell : Do we have to use that term?
Turk Malloy : What term?
Linus Caldwell : "Freak."
[pause]
Linus Caldwell : I mean the National Institute of Mental Health estimates 5.6 percent of adults develop agraphoriaphobia...
[unable to pronounce]
All : Agoraphobia.
Linus Caldwell : Whatever. I'm just saying, I mean, do we...? I don't think we need to be an organization that labels people.
Basher Tarr : Oh, now we're an organization?
Linus Caldwell : Would you call Emily Dickinson a freak?
Reuben Tishkoff : Are you hosting a telethon we don't know about?
Virgil Malloy : Who's Emily Dickinson?
Linus Caldwell : Am I the only one who feels funny about stealing from a... you know, a handicapped guy?