- [Groot grows a cocoon of branches to cover his friends]
- Rocket Raccoon: No, Groot! You can't! You'll die! Why are you doing this? Why?
- [Groot uses a thin branch to wipe away Rocket's tears]
- Groot: We are Groot.
- Rocket Raccoon: But Quill, beating Ronan... it can't be done. You're asking us to die.
- Peter Quill: Yeah... I guess I am.
- [pause]
- Gamora: [stands up] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.
- Drax the Destroyer: [stands up] You're an honorable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter.
- Groot: [stands up] I am Groot.
- Rocket Raccoon: Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway...
- [stands up]
- Rocket Raccoon: Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.
- Groot: I am Groot.
- Peter Quill: Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that. What is wrong with Giving Tree here?
- Rocket Raccoon: Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulistics is limited to "I" and "am" and "Groot," exclusively in that order.
- Peter Quill: Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud.
- Drax the Destroyer: I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends. You, Quill, are my friend.
- Peter Quill: Thanks.
- Drax the Destroyer: This dumb tree is also my friend.
- [Groot grunts]
- Drax the Destroyer: And this green whore is also...
- Gamora: Oh, you must stop!
- Drax the Destroyer: I can barely see.
- Groot: [Groot releases glowing spores from his body to light up the way ahead]
- Drax the Destroyer: Where did you learn to do that?
- Peter Quill: I'm pretty sure the answer is: "I am Groot".
- Groot: [Groot nods "yes" to Peter]
- Drax the Destroyer: Finger on throat means death!
- [kills Korath]
- Drax the Destroyer: Metaphor.
- Peter Quill: ...Sort of.
- Peter Quill: Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one.
- Drax the Destroyer: DO NOT ever call me a thesaurus.
- Peter Quill: It's just a metaphor, dude.
- Rocket Raccoon: His people are completely literal. Metaphors go over his head.
- Drax the Destroyer: *Nothing* goes over my head...! My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.
- Peter Quill: I have a plan.
- Rocket Raccoon: You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
- Peter Quill: I'm not copying you, I have a plan, that's not that unique of a thing to say.
- Rocket Raccoon: And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.
- Peter Quill: I have part of a plan.
- Drax the Destroyer: What percentage of a plan do you have?
- Gamora: You don't get to ask questions after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!
- Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
- Peter Quill: We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!
- Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
- Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
- Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking of something else...
- Rocket Raccoon: She's right, you don't get an opinion... What percentage?
- Peter Quill: I dunno... Twelve percent?
- Rocket Raccoon: Twelve percent?
- [starts laughing]
- Peter Quill: That's a fake laugh.
- Rocket Raccoon: It's real!
- Peter Quill: Totally fake!
- Rocket Raccoon: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life because THAT IS NOT A PLAN!
- Gamora: It's barely a concept.
- Peter Quill: [to Gamora] You're taking their side?
- Groot: I am Groot.
- Rocket Raccoon: So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?
- Peter Quill: [to Groot] Thank you Groot, thank you. See? Groot's the only one of you who has a clue.
- Groot: [Groot begins to chew on a leaf protruding from his shoulder]
- Rocket Raccoon: That's for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons.
- Gamora: No one's blowing up moons.
- Rocket Raccoon: You just wanna suck the joy out of everything.
- Peter Quill: [talks with the rest of the Guardians in private when they are all in doubt] When I look around, you know what I see? Losers.
- [Everyone looks at him]
- Peter Quill: I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.
- Rocket Raccoon: To do what?
- Peter Quill: To give a shit. And I am not gonna stand by and watch as billions of lives are being wiped out.
- Rocket Raccoon: If we're gonna get outta here, we gonna need to get into that watch tower, and to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one.
- Gamora: Leave it to me.
- Rocket Raccoon: That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.
- Peter Quill: His leg?
- Rocket Raccoon: Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.
- Peter Quill: ...All right.
- Rocket Raccoon: And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?
- Peter Quill: Yeah.
- Rocket Raccoon: There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.
- Gamora: How are we supposed to do that?
- Rocket Raccoon: Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.
- [Groot starts walking toward the panel]
- Gamora: You must be joking.
- Rocket Raccoon: No, I really heard they find you attractive.
- Peter Quill: Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.
- Rocket Raccoon: I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!
- [Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out]
- Rocket Raccoon: Can I get back to it? Thanks.
- [Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery]
- Rocket Raccoon: Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last.
- [Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms]
- Rocket Raccoon: Or we could just get it first and improvise.
- Gamora: I'll get the armband.
- Peter Quill: Leg.
- Denarian Saal: Peter Quill, this is Denarian Saal. For the record, I advised them against trusting you.
- Peter Quill: [to Gamora] They got my dick message.
- Denarian Saal: Prove me wrong!
- Gamora: I know who you are, Peter Quill, and I am not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your... your pelvic sorcery!
- Gamora: I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.
- Peter Quill: Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.
- Gamora: ...Who put the sticks up their butts?
- Groot: I am Groot.
- Rocket Raccoon: Asleep for the danger, awake for the money, as per frickin' usual.
- Peter Quill: [about Gamora] She betrayed Ronan, he's coming for her. That's when you...
- [draws his finger across his throat in a cutthroat gesture]
- Drax the Destroyer: ...Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?
- Peter Quill: No, that's the symbol for slicing his throat.
- Drax the Destroyer: I would not slice his throat, I would cut his head clean off.
- Peter Quill: It's a general expression for you killing somebody. You've heard of this. You've seen this, right? You know what that is.
- Drax the Destroyer: [lets Star-Lord into the Milano] This one shows spirit. He shall make a keen ally in the battle against Ronan. Companion, what were you retrieving?
- [Star-Lord hands him his stereo-player]
- Drax the Destroyer: You're an imbecile.
- Rocket Raccoon: What did the galaxy ever do for you? Why would you want to save it?
- Peter Quill: Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!
- [last lines]
- Peter Quill: What should we do next: Something good, something bad? Bit of both?
- Gamora: We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord.
- Peter Quill: A bit of both!
- [Quill struggles to control the Infinity stone]
- Gamora: Peter, take my hand!
- [Quill grabs her hand, and Drax and Rocket do the same]
- Ronan: You're mortal! How...
- Peter Quill: You said it yourself, bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.
- [the Guardians strike Ronan]
- Rhomann Dey: He said that he may be an... "a-hole". But he's not, and I quote, "100% a dick".
- Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe him?
- Rhomann Dey: Well, I don't know if I believe anyone is 100% a dick...
- Nova Prime Rael: Do you believe he's here to help?
- Rhomann Dey: ...Yeah, I do.
- Gamora: And Quill, your ship is filthy.
- Gamora: [She walks away]
- Peter Quill: Oh she has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.
- Rocket Raccoon: You got issues, Quill.
- Gamora: I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. I would be grateful to die surrounded by my friends.
- Rhomann Dey: Peter Jason Quill. He's also known as Star-Lord.
- Nova Corps Officer: Who calls him that?
- Rhomann Dey: Himself, mostly. Wanted mostly on charges of minor assault, public intoxication and fraud...
- [Quill winds up his finger and flips the bird at the screen which reads: OBSCENE GESTURE ALERT]
- Peter Quill: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know how this machine works...
- Ronan: Citizens of Xandar, behold your guardians of the galaxy! What fruit have they wrought?
- Peter Quill: [dances] Ooh, child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child, things will get brighter. You listen to these words. Ooh child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh child things'll get brighter. Then bring it down hard! Someday...
- Ronan: What are you doing?
- Peter Quill: Dance-off, bro. Me and you.
- [holds out his hand for Gamora]
- Peter Quill: Gamora.
- [she shakes her head]
- Peter Quill: Subtle, taking it back.
- Ronan: What are you doing?
- Peter Quill: I'm distracting you, you big turd blossom!
- Gamora: [talks to Drax] You don't get opinions after that nonsense you pulled on Knowhere.
- Drax the Destroyer: I just saved Quill!
- Peter Quill: We've already established that blowing up the ship I'm on isn't saving me.
- Drax the Destroyer: When did we establish that?
- Peter Quill: Like three seconds ago!
- Drax the Destroyer: Well I wasn't listening then, I was thinking about something else.
- Rocket Raccoon: She's right; you don't get opinions.
- Meredith Quill: [letter] Dear Peter: I know this will be hard for you, but I'm going somewhere good and nice. But know this: I will always be with you, my angel from heaven, my prince... my Star-Lord.
- Star-Lord: Here you go.
- [Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested]
- Rocket Raccoon: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things.
- Star-Lord: What?
- Rocket Raccoon: [laughing] No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No, wait, what'd he look like hopping around?
- Star-Lord: I had to transfer him 30,000 units!
- Rocket Raccoon: [chittering laughter]
- [Quill hands the Stone over to the Ravagers]
- Peter Quill: [as they leave] He's going to be pissed when he finds out I switched out the orb on him.
- Gamora: He's going to kill you, Peter.
- Peter Quill: Oh I know. But he's about the only family I have.
- Gamora: No... he wasn't.
- Rocket Raccoon: I live for the simple things... like how much this is going to hurt!
- [zaps Quill, who falls down yelling]
- Rocket Raccoon: Yeah, writhe, little man.
- [a brawl takes place between Drax and Rocket]
- Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!
- Rocket Raccoon: That is true!
- Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect!
- Rocket Raccoon: That is also true! Keep callin' me vermin tough guy, you just want to laugh at me like everyone else!
- Peter Quill: Rocket, you're drunk, all right? No one's laughing at you.
- Rocket Raccoon: [points at Drax] He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does!
- [starts to cry]
- Rocket Raccoon: Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over and turned into some little monster!
- Peter Quill: Rocket, no one's calling you a monster...
- Rocket Raccoon: He called me vermin! She called me rodent! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!
- [draws a gun]
- Peter Quill: No no no! Four billion units! Rocket, come on man, suck it up for one more lousy night and we're rich.
- Rocket Raccoon: Fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks.
- Peter Quill: See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!
- [from trailer]
- Peter Quill: So here we are: a thief, two thugs, an assassin and a maniac. But we're not going to stand by as evil wipes out the galaxy. I guess we're stuck together, partners.
- Nebula: Gamora, you've always been weak! You stupid, traitorous...
- [Drax blasts Nebula]
- Drax the Destroyer: No one talks to my friends like that.
- Rocket Raccoon: [scans a small child] Look at this thing. It thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to ask for help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle!
- Ronan: I only ask that you take this matter seriously.
- Thanos: The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me! Your demeanor is that of a pouting child. And apparently you alienated my favorite daughter, Gamora. I shall honor our agreement, Kree, if you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty handed and I will bathe the star-ways with your blood.
- Nebula: Thanks, Dad. Sounds fair.
- Rocket Raccoon: [jumps on Groot who is fighting the sentry bots] You idiot! How am I supposed to fight these things without my stuff?
- Drax the Destroyer: Creepy little beast!
- [throws a machine gun to Rocket]
- Rocket Raccoon: Oh yeah!
- Rhomann Dey: They call themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy.
- Denarian Saal: What a bunch of a-holes.
- Nova Prime Rael: The fate of 12 billion people is in your hands.
- Peter Quill: Hold on a second, you're being serious right now?