Scream (1996)
Jamie Kennedy: Randy
Photos
Quotes
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Sidney Prescott : [when Randy reveals that he's still alive] Oh, my God. Randy I thought you were dead.
Randy : I probably should be. I never thought I'd be so happy to be a virgin.
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Randy : There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.
[crowd boos]
Randy : BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay? Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.
[crowd cheers and raises their bottles]
Randy : The sin factor! It's a sin. It's an extension of number one. And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.
Stu : I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?
Randy : Yeah, sure.
Stu : I'll be right back.
[crowd cheers]
Randy : See, you push the laws and you end up dead. Okay, I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.
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Randy : [Gale, Sid and Randy are looking at Billy's body] Careful. This is the moment when the supposedly dead killer comes back to life, for one last scare.
[Billy starts to rise]
Sidney Prescott : [shoots Billy] Not in my movie.
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Randy : It's the millennium. Motives are incidental.
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Randy : There's always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend. That's the beauty of it all! Simplicity! Besides, if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
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Randy : If you were the only suspect in a senseless bloodbath - would you be standing in the horror section?
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Stu : Because there's no way a girl could have killed them.
Tatum : That is so sexist. The killer could easily be female. Basic Instinct.
Randy : That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing.
Stu : Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. Takes a man to do something like that.
Tatum : Or a man's mentality.
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Randy : Now that Billy tried to mutilate her, do you think Sid would go out with me?
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Randy : Listen up. They found Principal Himbry dead. He was gutted and hung from the goal post on the football field.
Drunk teen : Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go over there before they pry him down!
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Stu : I didn't kill anybody.
Billy : Nobody said you did.
Stu : Thanks, buddy!
Randy : Besides... "Takes a MAN to do something like that!"
Stu : I ought to gut your ass in a second, kid.
Randy : [using Jerry Lewis' voice] Tell me something. Did you really put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they found her liver in the mailbox next to her spleen and her pancreas.