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Reviews
300: Rise of an Empire (2014)
A Rare Sequel Better than the Original
I went to the theater to see 300: Rise of an Empire this weekend, and it was money very-well spent. I really have the willies about going to spend good money to see any sequel, but I liked the 300 (original) so much, I had to go and take the chance, after watching a couple of online trailers. It was well worth it!
*** mild spoiler alert *** (not direct, but alludes to moments in the film, for sake of 'quality commenting') Regardless of what others say, Green played Artemesia excellently - even if 'the scene' between Artemesia and Themistocles on her ship was, shall we say, INTENSE (for lack of far greater spoiler adjectives and phrases).
The battle scenes were on par with the 1st 300, and the dialog flowed far better than the first. The acting was actually MORE believable, and the tactics were more-solid, from a military perspective. Overall, this is DEFINITELY a movie you want a copy of in your own home library. Worth putting on your watch list, to buy when it comes to DVD.
River of Darkness (2011)
River of...OMG BAD
OK, I like B...and even some decent C movies. Going in, if you know it is a B, or C, you can offset it normally...maybe consider low budget might be offset by cute girls, scary off-screen suspense, or maybe just a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor. Kurt Angle has nothing to bring to this movie, and for him to be in over half the scenes, it's like seeing a tax auditor show up...and read his lines from a 3x5 index card. You know it's bad going in, when in the first scene you see him, you notice the cardboard 'sheriff's star' on his brown ballcap. A budget over $3 million, and they couldn't actually get him a plastic badge? Geesh. Do you remember high school, and someone having to read from a textbook? Do you remember the poor readers that made each word an agony to hear, as you followed along in the book, wanting to help them read it to ease the pain? Yeah, this movie is like that...only much worse. Do yourself a favor, pass on this movie and watch Scorpion King II, or Ishtar, or Jaws 4 or Rocky 5 or something...they are far less painful to your mind.
Spike (2008)
Spike is NOT a Scary Movie!
OK, I jumped at renting this movie, when it came available on DVD, the cover looked interesting and the synopsis sounded decent. Got news for everyone, the movie is basically a sociopath porcupine-human hybrid with romantic tendencies meets a straight-couple, a gay-couple, and decides to go Hamlet on them all, accidentally of course.
Seriously, I am totally blown away with all the 9-and-10 star ratings, which are by a preponderance of females, talking about it like it is the movie 'Ghost', or something. Heads up, it is no more scary than someone's brother in a Halloween suit, lurking outside his neighbor's daughter's window, promising not to kill her parents if she will only come out to him.
This movie gets a 3 for decent cinematography and somewhat decent acting. As for the movie script, continuity, or scares - rent Ghostbusters, it is scarier.
P.S.: This is what most honest people would rate this movie, and more- than-fair from a guy who finds Resident-Evil an excellent 'average- scare' zombie flick.