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TheReprobate
Reviews
Lucifer (2016)
Really?
8,3/10? Really? Are people really this easily pleased? That is...disappointing. Because what we have with "Lucifer" is a below average police procedural with a cheap gimmick. Nothing unusual there, that's usually how those kind of TV-shows work. But most of those are called out on it. For some reason, this one is being outrageously praised for its shortcomings.
The titular character of "Lucifer Morningstar" (as he outright tells just about everyone he meets, with all the class and mystique of a Las Vegas street performer who's off his meds) is how the devil would be, as imagined by the least imaginative person on earth. He's predictable, vulgar and cheesy with essentially no REAL self-awareness. Oh, the show pretends that they're hamming it up in a fun, ironic way. But it's pretty obvious they're just churning out another barely mediocre procedural with as little effort as possible.
The sad thing is, I would probably have enjoyed the concept if it has been executed with some actual talent and genuine panache. They could have played with the idea of the devil walking the street of L.A., solving crimes and it would have been a fun little diversion. But unfortunately, they forgot to bring the subtlety and quality writing. So instead we're left with this shrine to the lowest common denominator.
Oldeuboi (2003)
Tiresome
In this short review I not only review the film itself, but also comment on the tiresome cult following that it has acquired over the years.
I gave the movie a 2/10 simply because it is too contrived. It tries too hard to be everything. In its attempt to visit the entire emotional spectrum, it just becomes a mess and a hodgepodge of convoluted events. With all the "poetic" story elements and significant moments I just got tired of it all.
I get that the soap opera plot is just there to help put the viewer through that supposedly profound emotional wringer. For me, it was just disappointing. A gauche and ostentatious emotional manipulation that lost its appeal after just a few moments.
Which takes me to my comments the films' predictable and frankly, rather rabid fans. Since the film does have a heavy, clumsy impact, I see why so many are spellbound by it. They're swept up in its maladroit attempt at profundity and can't seem to take a step back and see it for what it is: overrated trash. Instead they think it's one of the best movies ever made and any dissenting opinions are attacked with the vehemence that only unimaginative fans in great numbers can muster up.
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013)
Predictable and bland
Yeah, they went the standard route with this series. All the formulaic cookie cutter roles of main characters have been filled and it has been seeded with the ordinary amount of interpersonal drama and plot points.
None of the main characters are interesting (at least not three episodes in). I don't care about any of the people on the screen. I even dislike some of them, especially the Grant Ward character.
Also, it tries to be too cool and bad-ass for its own good. It comes off as fake and contrived. And the boring standard science fiction tech they try to wow us with in the first episode just falls flat.
In one word: dull.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)
Wonderful
This was a great movie. One of the best I've seen in a good while. Alfredson nailed the pace most suitable for a story like this. There are sharp turns and twists (of sorts) in the story, but they're not contrived or overdramatized. If you don't pay attention, they can sneak you by. I love this. So often in movies with intricate stories (or attempted intricacies) they bludgeon you over the head with them. Not so here. And Tomas Alfredson manages this feat without making the movie indecipherable.
The acting was great too, of course. Gary Oldman was in good form. But I enjoyed the other characters the most. David Dencik (someone I hadn't really seen or heard of before) has a couple of fantastic scenes (if any of you have seen the movie I think you know what I'm talking about). I also particularly liked Mark Strongs performance.
Dead Cert (2010)
Fair is fair
I was a little surprised to see how low rating this movie had here at IMDb. I mean, it's not the greatest movie I've ever seen, but it's not the worst either. It has a bunch of cool actors (Craig Fairbrass is stone cold cool) and a fun storyline. The vampires are kind of lame, but not more so than in every other vampire movie ever made. The action has a different flavour than all the boring big time action/horror movies, but to me that's just a plus. The directing feels a little disjointed at times, but nothing too bad.
All in all, I recommend this to anyone who likes British gangster and/or horror flicks. Just don't go in expecting too much.
The Losers (2010)
Same old...
This movie is a big pile boring of clichés. I'm having difficulty describing it any other way.
Most people doesn't seem to notice that movies like this are garbage. Apparently, as long as you make an half-assed attempt at being ironic about it, it doesn't matter that what you're doing is banal. I'm so sick of these cookie-cutter action movies with a superficial twist. It's the same old cinematic turd that the Hollywood factory has been churning out for decades, with some added polish and with a few shiny stickers attached to it. But underneath that, it's still a semi-coherent mass of fecal matter.
And to all of you who likes to say that it's just for fun or that it's just a little light-hearted entertainment and that bitter old cynics like me should just lighten up: shut up. Don't you ever get sick of letting these money-grubbing villains in the big movie companies get away with making bad films like this? Because it's your fault that they get away with it. If you had a little more discerning taste and stopped buying movie tickets for these inane and formulaic excuses for films, they would stop making them.
Human Target (2010)
Unfortunately casted dorkiness
This show is like a cheesy mix between Burn Notice, The Pretender and MacGyver. I get the sense it tries to emulate the dorkiness of the original show and/or comic and doesn't quite pull it off in a proper tongue-in-cheek way. The narration and the ending heart-to-hearts just comes off as silly. Still, this could have been a nice weekly feel-good kind of action series, if it wasn't for Mark Valley. He is all wrong for this part. He just doesn't have the charisma to make it work. He's stiff and boring and pulls the show down with him a little.
Nonetheless, if you're bored enough, this show can serve as low grade entertainment well enough.
V (2009)
Banality galore
As usual, instead of creating new franchises, networks look to make a fast buck on reanimating the rotting carcasses of old ones.
V is just a bunch of trite television clichés cobbled together in a loose pattern resembling the original V series. There's nothing of interest here. We already know the story and where the writers might possibly dare to write some kind of new story twist, I'm sure anyone who's ever watched a modern television series can predict where it's going. That's how formulaic this show is.
There are no exceptional actors involved, but even if there was, the characters are flat and lifeless.
I've seen other reviewers espousing the social and political commentary of the show. That just makes me sad. If this is what passes for social commentary these days, I'd prefer it if they just avoided it altogether.
Stargate: Atlantis (2004)
Subpar spin off
Stargate SG-1 was a huge success (a sci-fi show going strong for 8 seasons is practically unheard of) because a few key factors. One of them is the casting, which was very successful in finding actors who could portray likable and fairly interesting characters. The other factor is a genuinely interesting and clever idea and story.
Now, Stargate Atlantis has got about a half of those two things. Had the actors (Robert Patrick excluded, he was about the only highlight in the starting cast) been better in the first episode, I might have been REALLY interested. The starting story idea of an expedition into the newly discovered Atlantis was awesome and had enormous potential. But as soon as the show started degenerating into a subpar clone of SG-1 (evil goth boogiemen that has to be stopped before they destroy earth, blah blah) with s****y actors I just completely lost faith in the whole thing. It brought nothing new to the Stargate concept at all, it just re-used old ideas And the creators of the show couldn't even get that right, they messed up a concept that had worked excellently in SG-1 for EIGHT seasons. The main characters are uninteresting (or annoying, Teyla makes me want to headbutt the sidewalk in frustration) and the plot turns could be predicted by a slow 9 year old.
The bottom line is that this spin off is a failure. Now, I'm not one of those reprobates that seemed to dislike DS9 and Voyager by default or principle, just because their favourite nerd idols weren't in the cast. I'm highly interested in interesting spin off series. Stargate Atlantis had the potential to be great, but the people in charge messed up. End of story.
Bad Boys II (2003)
Utter crap
I can't believe I wasted 2 hours of my life watching this steaming turd of a movie. The plot is so unoriginal that it makes my brain hurt. This is the outline of the "plot": Two extremely stereotypical cops (with a sentimental and stupid "bad boys"-jingle going) that blow things up (and has a captain that screams about how the chief of police is mad at him for all the crazy things they do) go after a drug smuggler. The end.
The acting is very poor, you can see how the main actors know how bad the script is and is just hampering on to get through. If they weren't bound by a contract, they wouldn't touch this movie. And when something is so bad that Martin Lawrence won't touch it, it's some serious crap.
There is just so much about this movie that stinks. There is a few funny moments, and Peter Stormare is great as Russian mobster, but it's not enough to redeem the movie. It's just too bad.
Don't watch this movie. It will lower your IQ with 20 points.
Bowling for Columbine (2002)
One-sided, but still very good
I've heard both positive and negative things about this film. And even though Michael Moore probably edits to his benefit and displays thing from his preceptive and not much else, that doesn't make the movie bad. There are very few documentaries that are truly objective, if there are any at all. Documentaries will always be shaped by the people that make them. So don't use that as an excuse to put the film down or to justify yourselves. And about the dispute of the facts in the movie, check it out for yourselves. I did. It's accurate, even though it's presented in a pretty dramatic way.
I live in Sweden, and we don't have the same problems as the US. But this still was a real eye-opener.
The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Very good. Excellent music.
I'm a huge fan of animated movies. And this was a true highlight of all my years of moviewatching. The animation is exceptional, the story is wellwritten and stays true to the legend of the transformers. The casting of voiceactors is equally good, with just a few dragdowns.
And the music. Wow. Pompous hair metal at it's best. Stan Bush and his associates prove that they were the era's absolute no.1's.
This gets a 8,5/10.
A Knight's Tale (2001)
Oh my god, this movie sucks beyond belief.
Once again i felt compelled to send my own comment in when i read the comment on the page. How anyone can possible claim that this movie is the "only satisfying film of 2001", i can't even begin to understand. I almost got a seisure when i saw the nike-brand on the ugly dudes armour. I mean..come on?
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Good, but not _that_ good
I am so sick of the hype surrounding this movie. Sure, it was a good fantasyflick. But it also had more money, better actors and the advantage of having a huge crowd of fans that wouldn't admit that the movie was bad even if it was.
The movie has mood and sometimes it captured Tolkiens visions(what i think is the Tolkien vision, at least) pretty ok. But it still had a huge number of flaws. The 8.9-rating here at IMDB is ridicolous, it is NOT that good. And it's not fair to put it up among The Godfather and such movies.
It's something about this movie that i really don't like. Something that i can't put my finger on..
Mister Frost (1990)
Great!
Wow. I saw this movie a few years ago on TV, and I wondered why i hadn't heard of it before. To me, Jeff Goldblum portrays complete evil brilliantly. He has an aura of cold politeness that makes him scarier than any crazed psychopath. The end of the movie is a bit..weird, but the movie is still totally awesome.
Excalibur (1981)
Overrated
This movie is not bad. It's 2 hours of light entertainment. And you can't help to laugh when Uther has sex with his armor still on. I've worn a full armor, and I couldn't even pick up a sword from the ground without almost falling over and hurting myself. I feel sorry for the poor woman who was beneath Uther during the act.. But other than the obvious lapses in the moviemakers sense of reality, this flick cuts it pretty good. The acting is pretty good, Nicol Williamson is great as a somewhat melodramatic Merlin.
This movie gets 6/10 by my standards.