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Blue Beetle (2023)
A good 1st swing, but a sequel is needed to perfect
BLUE BEETLE was a good first-swing, being the first Latino-driven superhero movie. It's not perfect, but it's definitely a good first swing.
A star is born. Xolo Mariduena delivers a charming, charismatic and vulnerable performance in the way that Toby Maguire does in Spider-Man (2002).
George Lopez gives a torch-passing performance that shows what luminaries of his caliber should do for the next generation of actors. He was funny and cynosure without upstaging his fellow cast members.
Alternatively, Susan Sarandon was not needed. She delivers a carbon copy villain that we've all seen 1000 times. It was bland and too familiar. She added nothing special in a culturally historic film targeting Latinos around the world.
Her role should have gone to an actor with Mexican ancestry -- Hayek, Trejo, Longoria, Olmos -- someone with as high a public profile as Sarandon. I think they would've brought more depth as Jaime Reyes' supervillain and helped fill more theater seats.
Unfortunately, Blue Beetle is going to come in under $30M at the weekend domestic box office, which is a shame. This film deserves support so that it can have the engine behind it necessary to make an even better sequel.
Extraction 2 (2023)
Once it gets going it aint bad
At the end of the day, Extraction 2 is a disagreement between in-laws that turns deadly.
Upside: Idris Elba makes a cameo, 17 minutes into the film.
Downside: Idris Elba's character disappears until the last few minutes of the film.
Tyler Rake's ex-wife's sister's husband is sentenced to life in prison for operating an international drug ring. A condition of his sentencing includes his wife & kids serving with him, because this prison is the safest place on earth for them. They serve with him in a separate cell.
Tyler Rake's job is to extract the wife and kids from this prison and keep them in protective custody.
But surviving this breakout is a deadly mission that they can't possibly survive.
It takes 25 minutes for this film to get going. The story is weak and unoriginal -- surprising since the Russo Bros cowrote it with Ande Parks. And, the choreographed stunts are shoddy and rhythmless.
Once it gets going, it's not so terrible. But you have to suffer through the boring first half without falling asleep.
Flamin' Hot (2023)
Should've been spicier--
Hulu's Flamin' Hot movie eventually becomes an inspirational origin story about a self-made, 1st generation Mexican American millionaire who rebranded a popular snack line. But the map to getting there is long and labor-intensive as the viewer must sit through a primitive style of storytelling that's replete with exposition, weak gags and exaggerated tropes that lampoon authentic Mexican culture.
The score is over-bearing and the sound mix is too loud during major plot points. "The Cisco Kid" by War was licensed and situated at the perfect mark in the story. I think the filmmakers should've licensed more popular songs like it to punctuate the era and story's timeline even more.
Jesse Garcia is perfectly cast as Richard Montanez, a reformed miscreant-turned-family man whose resilience is eventually rewarded with a C-suite at Frito Lay.
Annie Gonzalez who plays Richard's wife, Judy, delivers a grounding performance as his anchor and muse, making sure he isn't his own diversion.
Rounding out the cast are Dennis Haysbert, Tony Shalhoub and Matt Walsh who meet the requirements of any given biopic---oppositional characters micromanaging the protagonist to ensure the journey to his ultimate goal is challenging long enough for the payoff to be emotional. It's very systematic in that way.
All in all, Flamin' Hot has major issues as it relates to the filmmaking, in style and tone, but by the end of it, you will have rooted for the underdog, Richard Montanez.
About My Father (2023)
2 Stars is Generous
ABOUT MY FATHER is so bad. The story is recycled and every joke is tragically unfunny. It doesn't know if it wants to be a knockoff of "Meet the Fockers" or Jo Koy's "Easter Sunday."
I wonder why Robert De Niro keeps agreeing to do these types movies in the twilight of his career. Maybe because he doesn't have to flex his acting muscles to play the disgruntled dad in a standup comic's passion project.
De Niro, who gave us classics like Deer Hunter, Cape Fear, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Godfather...that thespian should not be giving us these snooze fests.
At least we'll forgot he was ever in this awful movie in a few months when we see him in Killers of the Flower Moon.
Master Gardener (2022)
Who Is Irredeemable?
Writer/Director Paul Schrader's new film, Master Gardener, is a stunning portrait of a seemingly reformed bigot who falls in love with a young, biracial, drug-addicted groundskeeper he's been charged with mentoring.
I don't think Quintessa Swindell was the appropriate actor for this role, but I do think Joel Edgerton is perfectly cast.
He is convincing as Narvel Roth, a former klansman who escaped justice by helping authorities apprehend his grand wizard for lynching Black people.
What's beautiful about this didactic film and how Schrader captured it is the juxtaposed drought of land Edgerton's character tills and the group of minority apprentices he educates about horticulture--soil, seeds, plants and the root causes of hate.
No flowers sprout up for most of the film because Narvel's the wrong person planting the seeds. He's used as an allegory to question--who's redeemable.
Despite this film being one of my favs of 2023, it's not absent of major issues. And I wonder what this film would've looked like had a Black director filmed it and/or if an actress that wasn't biracial would've played the love interest. Would that have been as effective?
Big George Foreman (2023)
Big George Foreman is a big dud
This is what happens to biopics when the titular character (in this case George Foreman himself) is alive and exec produces the project. He was too hands-on.
This story is a heavy-handed catalogue of Foreman's highlight reel. We don't need a film of highlights when actual highlights are easily available.
Sans Bryant Gumbel, this film unfolded like a weak version of an HBO Sports segment, offering fans access into the boxer's training regiment and backstory before the big fight. The problem why this doesn't work is it's redundant. The demo for this biopic is middle-age boxing fans already familiar with Foreman's legacy--who saw the fights live and the read all the splashy news stories. So in that way, this story is rhetorical and curated, in the worst way.
I would've preferred this biopic focus on the build-up to either the Ali fight or the Liston fight or his walk with God. Stuffing all of them into one film felt serialized.
It's also miscast, which is not newcomer Khris Davis' fault. He delivers the performance they asked for. This role might've been better suited for a veteran actor more vocal and commanding that could've guided the performance without the heavy influence of Foreman.
Lastly, I expect quality storytelling from Director George Tillman, Jr. This almost feels like a stain on his record.
What's Love Got to Do with It? (2022)
A refreshing romcom that honors tradition
"WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?" is one of the best films of the 2023.
It doesn't chart the predestined, savoir'y, story beats romcoms typically map out. You know the formula: the archaic "meet cute, whirlwind romance, break-up, sulk, race to the airport to confess your love" story beats.
This one's more special than that, in tone and substance. This film explores the rich, Pakistani tradition of arranged marriage and how bucking that social construct and spiritual guidance could devastate the family dynamic and societal enclave. But are times changing?
I think this film is respectful of tradition and culture while examining what it could look like if you followed your heart, despite the curated matchmaking from family who know you best.
In a sea of films like Netflix's "Wedding Season" and reality series like "Love is Blind", this film stands out as one that makes you believe in true love again while still respecting why tradition matters.
What's Love Got to Do with It? Is a beautiful tear-jerker and I highly recommend seeing it when it's released on May 5th.
Mafia Mamma (2023)
Throwback to Classics like Married to the Mob
Mafia Mamma is a fun, fish out of water, crimedy that is very self-aware of its own absurdity.
It's a throwback to classics like "Married to the Mob" centering a reluctant middle-age housewife, desperate for some excitement only to cave to pressures of becoming a mob boss.
Toni Collette and Monica Bellucci have great onscreen chemistry. They carry this film far as they can even though the writing fails them.
The screenplay is camp, the humor is archaic, the editing is shifty and the direction is sophomoric. But this film has one target audience in mind-- 'women of a particular age' who are in on the joke and just wanna kick back and have a few laughs at the theater.
Paint (2023)
Watching PAINT dry would be more fun--
PAINT is as bad as you imagined it might be. It's miscast. Owen Wilson does nothing more to disappear in this role as Carl Nargle (Bob Ross) than lower his voice and cover his head with a cosplay curly fro. Nargle's supposed to be from Vermont. All you hear is Owen's Dallas drawl. You never see the character he was supposed to be portraying -- you only see Owen from Night at the Museum and Wedding Crashers. This movie wishes it was that memorable and funny.
Every single joke in this movie falls flat. The screenwriters even found a way to make comedienne Wendi McClendon-Covey unfunny. And there's so much dead air when a joke is hurled -- a long beat begging for the laugh. It was uncomfortable to watch.
Flashbacks are overused to tell a large part of the story that is both irrelevant and inconsequential. Worse, the de-aging used in the flashbacks was so unnecessary and disturbing to the natural flow of the story.
The entire movie felt like a dress rehearsal that should've never been filmed -- let alone released to theaters instead of going straight to streaming.
"Paint" is permanently etched onto my Top 10 Worst Movies of 2023 List.
Air (2023)
AIR is about a mother's determination to prove her son's worth
AIR is a uniquely nostalgic sports drama about the greatest endorsement deal ever inked.
THE GOOD: The script. Rather than focusing on the drama surrounding an athlete's or team's rise, setbacks, and victories -- which we usually get in sports dramas, this movie highlights the unglamorous aspect of an athlete's financial success. Because for most of them, it's rare.
Michael Jordan's mother, Deloris, protected his future and helped him become the wealthiest athlete in history, which positioned him to purchase an NBA team. He remains the 2nd and only Black man ever to own an NBA team in the league's history, due in part to the deal structure this film chronicles.
That's what Alex Convery's screenplay centers on -- an insider's view of this historic, unprecedented endorsement deal.
The performances. They are superior because the talent is. These are Oscar and Emmy winners. You will be impressed. Chris Messina steals about 5 minutes of this film before Viola Davis swoops in and steals the rest of it. Her performance as Deloris Jordan further proves why she is one of the greatest actresses ever. This role to anyone else is micro. But she takes 20 minutes of screen time delivering the most pivotal scenes and dialogue that will linger in your mind long after you've left the theater.
Matt Damon as Sonny Vaccaro makes you root for him just as much as the young rookie from North Carolina whose face you never see on screen.
The music. They licensed your favorite 80s hit songs and they are placed strategically so that you remain engaged throughout this nearly 2-hour period piece.
Wardrobe. Costume Designer Charlese Jones captured 80s style-culture precisely. From the Stacy Adams Matt wore to the knee-length poly pencil skirt worn by Viola -- the Wardrobe Dept. Encapsulated 1984 to a T.
THE ISSUES:
Pacing. There are a few low energy moments because a lot of this film is about orchestrating a business deal. As I mentioned, the song placement livens up the points in the film that are less entertaining.
The humor. There are some really funny scenes. You will laugh out loud. But there are moments where the jokes didn't land. I think those jokes were written from the perspective of Nike execs in 1984 that we wouldn't have found to be hilarious. In that way, the jokes fell flat.
The craft. Because dissolving scene transitions were popular in the 80s, that technique is used here. Also, the title card inserts. There were bullet point graphics to define specific scenes that seemed inconsequential to the overall story.
Director Ben Affleck does a great job directing this film as he continues to prove that he can beautifully capture biopics with distinct perspectives.
All in all, AIR is worth seeing on the big screen. It will be released wide in theaters April 5th.
A Thousand and One (2023)
Wants to be Moonlight (2016)
THE GOOD:
Teyana Taylor's performance in ONE THOUSAND AND ONE is transcendent. She makes you forget that this film wants desperately to be Moonlight (2016).
The set design and production design perfectly replicate Harlem during the deleterious eras of Giuliani and Bloomberg.
The hair & makeup and wardrobe captured the true essence of the times.
THE ISSUES:
I wanted more from the story. It felt so incomplete. It's absent of any real stakes until the twist late in the 3rd Act.
Time leapfrogs so suddenly. Scenes transition with such abrupt finality. Title cards are used sparingly and inconsistently.
Will Catlett's Maryland accept was so prominent. If he's going to play Teddy Pendergrass 🤞🏾, he's gotta shake that accent fast.
For a 90s/00s period piece, this film deserved a better, more nostalgic score. The score seemed to belong to a totally different movie. If budget was a concern, it needed to license at least two 90s songs to give the setting and tone authenticity.
Overall, A. V. Rockwell's direction and screenplay were amateurish. She used techniques as a shorts filmmaker that don't translate to long form feature filmmaking. This film might have fared better as a limited series because it felt episodic, at times.
This film IS worth seeing in the theater for Teyana Taylor's performance.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Best John Wick Film Yet
JW4 is exceptional!! If you're gunna see anything this wkd, see John Wick Chapter 4.
It's a nonstop, adrenaline-fueled rollercoaster ride full of tension, action and suspense. And you don't have to be up to speed with the other JW films, necessarily. The 2nd Act is dedicated to JW enthusiasts, but it's not too difficult to follow.
There's also an unrecognizable moviestar in hair & makeup (and a fat suit) that I clocked (I won't spoil it--yet). He is hilarious in the role -- very much like Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) in "Tropic Thunder."
The 3rd Act of JW4 is worth the price of admission. This is, by far, the best movie of the year (so far) and the last hour is one of the best finales of any action film in recent memory.
Shoutout to the production crew. This film doesn't work without the crew. The stunt coordinators, the sound mixers/designers, safety staff, grips, hair & makeup, choreographers, costumers and the animal trainers. Phenomenal job across the board!!!!!
Treat yourself to JW4 this wkd. Stay for the post-credit scene, if you can.
RIP Lance Reddick--
Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)
I Prefer the Series to the Film
Luther: The Fallen Sun does a decent job pandering for new viewers who may be unfamiliar with the series. But those of us who've been hooked on "Luther" since John cloaked himself in that wool trench coat during the series premier 13 years ago might not be as satisfied.
'Fallen Sun' finds Luther in custody. His unconventional crime-fighting tactics as a renegade copper finally catch up with him. He's convicted and sent to prison, which he always knew would happen eventually. But he breaks free to fulfill the promise he made to a grief-stricken mom who's son was murdered by a serial killer and never captured. The killer's on the loose, baiting Luther to catch him. And Luther calls in a few favors to take the bait.
Even though this standalone movie maintains the original lure of the series without introducing new plot devices, I prefer the 5-episode seasons.
"Luther: The Fallen Sun" is now streaming on Netflix.
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023)
Hilarious and Exhilarating
"Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre" is sexier than the usual adrenaline-fueled actioners Guy Ritchie is known for. The story unfolds in a deliberate way that gives the characters dimension.
The premise is rather complicated and somewhat exploratory so giving the plot time to breathe helps the characters guide us on an exhilarating journey.
Jason Statham plays Orson Fortune, a spy with an impossible mission. He and his covert team are tasked with going on a worldwide goose chase to track down something---without knowing what it is, who has it, who wants it or what they plan to do with it. All they know is--whatever that something is--it's in the wrong hands.
The cast is humorous and entertaining. Hugh Grant has never been better. His accent and makeup add to the comical quality he delivered in "The Gentlemen" in 2020.
Josh Hartnett brilliantly portrays an action star playing a decoy whose one job is to not break character, which is a struggle for him because these guns are real.
Aubrey Plaza plays a vixenous tech genius who's the smartest one in the room. She steals every scene and has the best one-liners.
Bugzy Malone plays an unsuspecting operative who must stay ahead of the a team of rogue spies out to get what they're looking for first.
Statham plays a semi-retired spy with a long list of phobias who's reluctant to go on this mission because he deserves a break from the spy game--a much-needed vacation on the government's dime. But he must go on this mission because he's the only man alive who can get that "nondescript something" out of the wrong hands.
Going on this journey with all of these characters is exhilarating.
The action sequences in the first half of the film are dialed down. There's mostly hand to hand combat during the first half, but the big set pieces are reserved for the final Act, which are explosive. The drone shots, editing and camera work make what would seem like a 90s throwback movie more current and modern.
The plot point involving Hartnett's character is reminiscent of Nick Cage's "Unbearable Weight" from 2022, but Guy Ritchie's imprint and $50M production budget make this spy comedy wilder.
Lastly, the a mid-credit scene is hilarious and worth sticking around for.
All in all, "Operation Fortune" is a good time. See it in theaters for the best experience.
Cocaine Bear (2023)
Slow, but fun at times--
COCAINE BEAR is slow-paced and full of scene fillers. Much of the story beats are unnecessary. For a slasher film with no protagonists, we didn't need the character building of any of these characters, especially Keri Russell's and O'Shea Jackson Jr's.
STYLE/TONE:
There's a lot of nothingness going on in the story that highlights how weak Jimmy Warden's screenplay is. Too much walking through the forest to get from point A to B. It wasn't paced well enough or humorous enough to take the journey with those characters.
Elizabeth Banks' directing style of allowing the humor to linger long enough as if those long beats were placeholders for a laugh track was awkward and amateurish.
The time/setting weren't properly conveyed, neither were wardrobe and props. The characters were dressed in 80s garb and the vehicles were 80s clunkers (with seatbelts btw), but they -- many of them -- had smartphones.
The CGI of the black bear was captured with realism. That's what the movie has going for it--the well-crafted CGI.
MARKETING:
The viral marketing campaign for the film will pique your interest enough to see it opening weekend. But the trailer features the best sequences of the film and it's spoiler-heavy. I just don't see how this film will have legs throughout March and grow a cult following once word gets out that it's too gimmicky and empty of substance.
WHAT WORKS:
Margo Martindale, the kids (Christian Convery & Brooklynn Prince), the Black Bear and well, the coke. The best scenes involve them.
Isiah Whitlock, Jr. Has great comedic timing, but not a whole lot to do. He has a prop in the form of a lapdog to justify the cruelty of the bear(s).
That's Jesse Tyler Ferguson's arc, too. To humanize the humans, which is futile exercise. He does have funny moments during his brief stint and is nearly unrecognizable in hair and makeup.
It was good seeing the late great Ray Liotta as a kingpin again. One final hurrah! But his role was also brief and written so milquetoast and one-dimensionally -- he did what he could.
EXTRAS:
Stick around for some funny mid-credit scenes (there are 3).
If there's a director's cut and outtakes, I'd be interested in seeing them if only to imagine a better version of this film.
The film is setup for an inevitable sequel. The production budget for this film is estimated at $35M and I'm sure the marketing budget was at least $20M. It has a lot of earning to do to justify a sequel.
SEE OR SKIP?:
See Cocaine Bear in theaters this weekend. There is enough in the film that works to justify paying to see it opening weekend.
Fall (2022)
FALL or Don't Look Down
"NOPE" should've been titled "Don't Look Up" and "FALL" should've been titled "Don't Look Down."
Fall is a vertigo-inducing nail-biter centering around 2 thrill-seeking best friends who scale a 2000-foot decommissioned vertical lattice tower and get stuck.
The structure of this film is dope. There is never a dull moment with twists and stakes and tension all throughout the story.
Thousands of feet above ground, these best friends have to brave the elements and fend off preying vultures with no cellphone reception, no food, no water, no contact with the world below and a secret between them that could turn them against each other as they fight to survive.
Grace Fulton and Virginia Gardner should be in Phase 5 of the MCU. I think they did a fantastic job with choreography and conveying fear.
See "FALL" on the biggest screen you can find. This film was meant to be seen in IMAX.
Wedding Season (2022)
Typical RomCom, but with East Indian Leads
Despite tropes, Wedding Season is a decent Romantic Comedy. The leads are cute, but their online chemistry isn't magnetic.
It centers around two star-crossed singles who make a pact to pretend dating to relieve the pressures of their matchmaking families. This gives them time to concentrate on their respective careers with a plan to publicly breakup after wedding season is over.
The more time they spend together pretending, the more they realize that they're actually perfect for each other.
The third act, particularly the finale, gets cringey when Nick's character cosplays East Indian culture. It felt like a note from the white exec producers -- Ryan Murphy, Ron Howard and Brian Grazer and not something first-time feature screenwriter, Shiwani Srivastava wrote in her script.
It's an easy to watch film currently streaming on Netflix. It's good to support filmmakers of color. We don't always have access to East Indian romantic comedies so I think it's refreshing to have this representation.
Nope (2022)
Pique Cinema
Jordan Peele has blended Western, Sci-fi, Mystery, Horror, Thriller, Suspense and Family Drama into a genre movie about paranormal activity. Pique cinema.
This is Jordan Peele's best film to date. He's getting better at storytelling and direction. Get Out delivers the "smack in the face" messaging we needed-- desperately needed - at that time. And, it resonated with a more diverse audience, which was unexpected. But Nope, cinematically- filmically, is the better film.
The performances in Nope are amazing. Every actor in this film is stellar in their respective roles. Even the animals are great. Shoutout to the animal trainers and Humane Society on set.
Now, I know Keke Palmer is getting a lot of praise for her performance and it's very deserving.
Steven Yeun is outstanding in his supporting role. He elevates the story in such a way that his arc deserves a standalone limited series because you'll be begging for more of his storyline.
Brandon Perea's comedic timing is perfect. He's hilarious as the comic relief.
Michael Wincott is a masterclass in 'show, don't tell'. He plays a nuanced, albeit suicidal director, frustrated with the commercialization of new age filmmaking. It's a bitesize role, but man does he deliver a great performance. Every second he's on screen is incredible.
But the absolute standout performance for me was Daniel Kaluuya's. He plays rather subdued, but it's what his character called for when you examine his underlying motivation.
He's bankrupt and suddenly forced to oversee the ranch after his father died suddenly. That's not a spoiler - it's in the trailer. Keith David's character is hospitalized and dies after a tragic event.
Kaluuya's character must fill his father's shoes and maintain this ranch that was handed down to them for generations. And he's lost, unguided in terms of what's required of him. He feels like such a failure. He has the most to lose and must grow the most. His younger sister, played brilliantly by Keke Palmer, is more of a free spirit and is less responsible than he.
Kaluuya gives a more emotionally cerebral performance- more layered and weighty. His arc is the most pivotal. He will be mistaken by many as a dual protagonist, but nope - he's the hero.
Speaking of trailer moments - Keith David is hardly in this film, which is a shame that such a legend was under utilized in this film. But I'm glad his injured face was shown in the trailer because if his injuries were saved for the film, it would've been too devastating to stomach. And it comes almost immediately before the chimp scene, which is hard to sit through, too. Your jaw will drop to the floor.
The film starts with the unknown history of the first Black jockey in stop motion photography. And the film ends with a little history of the first Black wranglers.
In that stop motion picture, history remembers the name of the horse - Sallie. But history has erased the name of the jockey astride Sallie.
I like how Peele incorporated the names of the horses on this ranch (and chimp) as chapters to follow while the Black wranglers deliver memorable performances. It was really genius of him.
I also appreciate that not a single cop was called to the scene. Genius. What were cops going to do anyway- shoot the aliens? Nope. They handle this situation themselves, without cops.
Cinephiles are comparing Nope to M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, which was released 20 years ago. And Spielberg's Close Encounters of the Third Kind from 1977.
I can see the resemblance as it relates to genre. But as it relates to theme and narrative, I think Nope goes further and deeper than those films.
My issues- I don't like how the animals were treated in the story, even though chapters are dedicated to their names.
I'm an animal lover and vegan and sometimes it's difficult for me to isolate mistreatment of animals in stories from real life.
That said, I don't like how the stallions or the chimp were treated by some of the characters. I'll just leave it at that.
Overall, Nope is one of the best told stories of the year. The score, the cinematography, the performances, the screenplay, the direction-pique cinema.
BTW, you will see the trailer of Oppenheimer right before the first scene of Nope.
I think Hoyte van Hoytema is jockeying for double nominations- for his principal photography in Oppenheimer and Nope.
Brilliant strategically by Universal Studios and Chris Nolan in an effort to reach Black audiences because there has been discord on social media surrounding The Manhattan Project and Black erasure in Oppenheimer.
I saw Nope in Dolby and will see it in IMAX next.
Dolby is my preferred viewing format because I enjoy the more immersive experience than that of IMAX.
I highly recommend you see Nope in the theater in one of these formats at least once.
Take the Night (2022)
A Masterclass in Bad Filmmaking
"Take the Night" is a new crime drama that follows two rivaling brothers who must set aside their beef and takedown a motley crew of criminals that stole a family heirloom during a botched abduction.
This film is bad. Here are 13 reasons where I think the film went wrong.
1. Seth McTigue. He co-wrote the screenplay, leads the cast, co-produced this film and directed it. This is his first feature film credit. He was too involved in this project and needed some distance from it to understand what works and doesn't.
2. The story meanders. There's a subplot surrounding one of the antiheroes, which was more compelling than the main plot and the main characters. He's a former basketball star who's food insecure and robbing as a means to eat. That was more compelling than a jealous brother hiring the wrong criminals to kidnap his brother as a sick prank.
3. The pacing is belabored and so incremental to the point that the viewer is inundated with unnecessary information, which doesn't move the story along. It takes 36 minutes to get to the inciting incident- the actual abduction.
4. The performances were weak. The actors stare aimlessly as if they're reaching for their lines.
5. The dialogue is amateurish. Lines are redundant, reiterating action that is already descriptive. Over-explaining conveys that the writer doesn't trust the audience to understand what's happening onscreen.
6. The stunts are sloppy. And not just the choreography, but the editing of the stunts are blunt and choppy.
7. Speaking of editing - some scenes are too short and break abruptly. Other scenes are too long and float like segments.
8. Cinematography. The camera gets shaky - not purposely like a steadicam in action sequences, but uncontrollably shaking during dialogue heavy scenes. The camera lands on characters and lingers even when they aren't the subject.
9. The characters are flat and one-dimensional and there are too many of them to follow. Their backstory is cheapened by flashing back to their respective childhoods. The viewer is given more info about arbitrary characters than about the main brothers. And, their backstory doesn't make you root for them as dual protagonists. The former basketball player's backstory has more dramatic tension that makes the viewer care. And characters are introduced that serve no purpose in the story. Wasted on scenes that don't drive the story at all.
10. The lighting is gloomy. The location shots are too inky and shadowy.
11. The score is too loud and domineering to the point that it tries to carry the load of the performances to drive the dramatic tension, which was irritating.
12. The concept isn't original. I think they were going for David Fincher's THE GAME but the build-up to the action fizzles because too much time is wasted on irrelevant plot points, dead-end storylines and under-developed characters.
13. Finally, the Title. It has nothing to do with nothing.
TAKE THE NIGHT is a masterclass in bad filmmaking. It's imperative to take some distance and not have your hands in all the pots so that you have objectivity without compromising your creativity.
Hot Seat (2022)
It Desperately Wants to be "Speed" in a Seat
Fade in: the camera follows pedestrians on their morning commute. You know what's about to happen at any minute. There's no suspense. A bomb detonates sending pedestrians flying in the air from the explosion. One of the victims does a triple axel spin into the frame and it's one of the worst choreographed stunts I've ever seen in a film.
That's when I knew, this film was not serious.
Plot Thicc
Hot Seat is a cyber thriller about an ex-hacker who's framed for hacking banks and transferring money into his account and into the account of an unknown man who's wired the hacker's seat with explosives to ensure his demands are met.
Kevin Dillon plays a miscreant hacker turned IT specialist who helps customers troubleshoot computer issues. (The customer he helps sounds like Kitboga using his classic old lady voice). It's unintentionally funny.
He gets called in to work on this particular day (that also happens to be his daughter's birthday). Kev is forced to hack banking institutions and digitally siphon millions of dollars and transfer to an unknown bank robber who's wired his desk seat with a bomb. If he even tries to get out of this seat, it explodes like the morning street bomb.
This robber (a culprit who's obvious immediately) speaks to Kevin through an intercom and security camera. He uses Kevin's past computer crimes and uses it to his advantage. He also has eyes on Kevin's wife and daughter, so he's left no choice but to comply.
Meanwhile, Mel Gibson plays a bomb expert, 30 years past his prime. Since the first transfer is to Kevin's bank, he suspects that Kevin is doing this on his own volition and has snipers outside on the roof waiting for the perfect shot.
Mel must sneak into this building, undetected, to deactivate the bomb and try to save any civilians.
This film wants so badly to be SPEED and DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE, but it fails miserably.
Shannon Doherty plays Mel's captain. She's given nothing to do in this film. She chews gum, which is a prop to make her seem threatening and bureaucratic. All she does is stand by, gripping her.2-way radio, waiting for her team to fill her in.
Sam Ashgari plays Kevin's coworker who conveniently ordered lunch for breakfast,. But when his order gets mixed up, he leaves to get it fixed. You can guess what part he plays in all this.
The dialogue in this film is so camp. The action sequences are so weak.
Kevin Dillon sounds like Johnny Drama.
Mel Gibson maintains one facial expression the entire movie.
Shannon Doherty looks bored in every scene.
Sam Ashgari gives it away immediately.
This is one of the worst films of the year.
Brian and Charles (2022)
Brian and Charles -- One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure
If you like "Lars and the Real Girl" you'll love Brian and Charles.
Brian and Charles is a mockumentary about socially awkward hoarder and oddball inventory named Brian who builds a companion robot from a pile of junk.
He names his robot Charles who soon takes on a life of its own becoming more adventurous than his safe creator Brian.
Charles informs himself by reading the dictionary and becomes quite curious about the outside world -- the world beyond the borders of Brian's isolated Welsh quarters.
Charles craves adventure, unlike Brian who wants to live a boring and obscure life -- free from heartbreak and danger.
Brian's an endearing creature who collects junk which he uses to alter household appliances that he claims as new innovations -- totally oblivious that these contraptions are made worse.
This is a metaphor for how Brian sees himself and how he presents himself to this phantom documentary crew that's documenting his mundane life. Brian's a disheveled hermit, obtuse and discard, like a pile of junk that nobody wants. That's how Brian sees himself.
So he builds a better Brian from that pile of junk. A robot who's willing to experience life.
This is a heartwarming story about fear, loneliness and the importance of human connection.
I highly recommend this film.
The Staircase: The Beating Heart (2022)
MISSING DEER 👀
THIS SERIES IS AN ANTHOLOGY WITHIN AN ANTHOLOGY SO THE TIMELINE IS NOT CONCURRENT.
LAST EPISODE, MICHAEL WAS FOUND GUILTY, CUFFED AND SHUFFLED OUT THE COURTROOM BY GUARDS TO BE TRANSPORTED TO COBB COUNTY PRISON FOR THE REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE.
IN THIS EPISODE, HE'S PRISONER 640. SIX MONTHS AFTER THE VERDICT. HE'S BEEN BEATEN - NOT AS BADLY AS KATHLEEN, BUT HIS FACE IS COVERED WITH BRUISES.
HE NEEDS COMMISSARY TO STAY ALIVE AND AVOID THESE BEATINGS.
HE GOT SPECIAL TREATMENT - HIS OWN PRIVATE CELL. THE ONE OTHER LIFERS HAVE BEEN WAITLISTED FOR.
HE FORMS AN ALLIANCES WITH SOME HEAVYWEIGHT BLACK INMATES. HIS PROTECTION COSTS A BULK OF WEEKLY STAMPS.
SO HE'S GOTTA DEPEND ON CLAYTON AND TODD. YOUNG MEN BUSY WITH THEIR OWNS LIVES AND NOW THEY'VE GOTTA MAKE SURE MONEY'S IN THEIR DAD'S PRISON COMMISSARY EVERY WEEK.
HE COMMISSIONS HIS FAVORITE, TODD, TO TAKE CARE OF IT, BUT HE MISSES A WEEK. SO HE TASKS CLAYTON TO DO IT, WHO WANTED TO ALL ALONG. HE CONNECTS HIS BANK CARD SO IT'S DRAFTED AUTOMATICALLY. WOW.
WE LEARN MORE ABOUT SOPHIE. SHE'S THE EDITOR OF THE DOCUMENTARY AND A STAN OF MICHAEL. SHE'S BEEN HIS PRISON PEN PAL FOR 6 MONTHS, PROVING SHE HAS NO OBJECTIVITY. HER HUSBAND AND SON HAVE HAD IT WITH HER. SHE MAY HAVE LOST THEM.
WE SEE HIS MICHAEL'S KIDS FIGURING OUT LIFE WITH THEIR FATHER BEHIND BARS. CLAYTON'S ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY GIRL. TODD'S A REAL ESTATE AGENT IN CABO.
HE AWAKENS IN BED AFTER A NIGHT OF HARD PARTYING AND FINDS BLOOD IN THE BED AND ON THE WALLS. FOR A SPLIT SEC, HE THINKS MURDER'S HEREDITARY. HE EVENTUALLY GETS HIS FRIEND ON THE PHONE TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL HE WAS PARTYING WITH THE NIGHT BEFORE...HOPING HE DIDN'T KILL HER. AND REALIZES HE BUSTED HIS OWN HEAD. THAT'S WHERE THE BLOOD CAME FROM.
***INCIDENTALLY, A VIDEO OF TODD PETERSON RESURFACED FROM DEC 2021 OF HIM SAYING HIS FATHER KILLED KATHLEEN. I'LL LINK.
ANYWAY, MARGARET'S IN NORTH CAROLINA HELPING BROTHER BILL WITH THE ESTATE SALE WHILE MARTHA'S IN SAN FRAN.
THEY'VE GOTTA SELL THE MANSION TO PAY APPEAL FEES.
TODD & CLAYTON VISIT MICHAEL IN PRISON. THINKS HE CAN GET AT LEAST A MILLION FOR THE MANSION, WHICH IS UNDER ASKING. BUT TODD AND CLAYTON NERVOUSLY TELL HIM THAT OFFERS ARE COMING IN AT $750K. WHY? BECAUSE SOMEONE WAS MURDERED ON THE PROPERTY.
WE SEE DAVID RUDOLF FIGHTING FOR AN APPEAL. HE LOSES. DOESN'T TELL MICHAEL. MICHAEL LEARNS ABOUT IT FROM AN INMATE.
WE SEE BORED AND RETIRED NEIGHBOR LARRY POLLARD SCAVENGING FOR DEALS AT THE PETERSON ESTATE SALE. OLE LARRY FINDS A CHRISTMAS DEER. THE DEER LIGHTS AND HAS VERY RIGID ANTLERS. HE PAYS $100 FOR THE DEER, BUT NOTICES ONE'S MISSING. KATHLEEN HAD 2 OF THEM. LARRY KNOWS. HE'S PROBABLY BEEN EYEING THEM FROM HIS YARD FOR YEARS. WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?
WE KNOW THE OTHER ONE WASN'T SOLD. IT'S MISSING.
WE SEE MICHAEL'S MEAN STREAK. HE OPENS MARGARET'S GRADES FROM TULANE. HE CUTS HER OFF FINANCIALLY AND UNINVITES HER TO THANKSGIVING DINNER. SHE'S CRUSHED.
AND THE THREE DOCUMENTARIANS, SOPHIE, DENIS & JEAN-XAVIER BICKER ABOUT THE DIRECTION OF FINISHED DOC. THEY ARE SCORING IT, EDITING IT AND PREPPING FOR AN INDUSTRY PREMIER.
SOPHIE' ADMITS TO SENDING MICHAEL LETTERS AND READING MATERIALS IN PRISON. PROUST AND LEWIS CAROLL'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND. SHE STOPS SHORT OF ADMITTING TO FLIRTING WITH MICHAEL. EVEN THOUGH MICHAEL'S FLIRTING WITH AN INMATE IN PRISON. TICKLING FINGERS.
SOPHIE WANTS THE DOC TO LOOK LIKE A WITCH HUNT, AS SHE CLAIMS "ACCURATE PORTRAIT". IS IT THO?
JEAN-XAVIER WANTS IT FAIR & BALANCED, BUT CUT, CLEAN AND POLISHED. FOR A PEABODY.
DENIS WANTS TO SHOW THAT MICHAEL'S GUILTY AS SIN LIKE IT WAS PROVED IN COURT.
THEY PREMIER THE DOC TO RAVE REVIEWS.
SOPHIE SENDS COPIES OF THE FINAL DOCUSERIES TO MARGARET. WITH A LETTER HOPING IT WILL EVENTUALLY BRING HER FAMILY JUST. A REALLY CHARMING LETTER LIKE SHE WANTS TO BE HER NEXT STEPMOM.
WE GET A COUPLE OF SCENES WITH KATHLEEN. SHE BUMPS INTO CAROL AT THE GYM. SHE FIRED HER IN AN EARLIER EP. CAROL IS HAPPIER THAN SHE WAS AT NORTEL. SHE THANKS KATHLEEN FOR FIRING HER. SHE GETS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH THE KIDS.
KATHLEEN WISHES SHE HAD A BREAK LIKE THAT.
WE ALSO GET A SCENE WITH HER AND MICHAEL ON A DOUBLE DATE WITH NEIGHBOR LARRY AND HIS WIFE. IN AN EARLIER SCENE, MARGARET TELLS KATH THAT MICHAEL UNINVITED HER TO THANKSGIVING AND THAT SHE'D BE GOING TO CAROL'S. THAT DOESN'T SIT WELL WITH KATH. SO ON THIS DATE, SHE SAYS THANKSGIVING'S CANCELED.
AND THEN NEIGHBOR LARRY. BORED, RETIRED NEIGHBOR LARE. DOING SOME INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATING OF HIS NEIGHBOR MICHAEL. HE'S STUDYING KATHLEEN'S AUTOPSY PHOTOS AND STARING AT THAT DEER HE BOUGHT AT THE ESTATE SALE. IT'S NOT MISSING ANTLERS. BUT THERE'S A WHOLE OTHER DEER MISSING?
FINAL SCENE, MICHAEL GETS AN UNEXPECTED VISIT IN PRISON FROM SOPHIE. THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THEIR LOVE AFFAIR. MICHAEL'S EYES LIGHT UP. ANOTHER ONE.
Master (2022)
If you stopped watching bcz it's slow, keep watching...
"Master" on Amazon Prime Video is a subgenre horror film in the vein of "Get Out" that was directed by Mariama Diallo and stars Regina Hall. This film is a brilliant dialectic masterclass of systemic racism and institutional inequity as an irredeemable, societal norm. It is a social study of how navigating microaggressions in white spaces is inversely futile and subversively unrewarding.
"Master" is as poignant and idiomatic with messaging and symbolism as "Do The Right Thing" and "Dear White People."
If you stopped watching this film because it's slow-pacing, revisit it. Give it a chance to build and expound its thesis. The story moves slowly, but it's purposely deliberate just like deep-seeded subtleties of microaggression and the anabolic, unexpungeable, institutional systems of white supremacy.
Keep watching. It will pay off.