The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Change Constant (2019)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : I do take your point. You know, you're also married, you have a successful career, you no longer dress like you're trying to attract sailors by the wharf.
Penny Hofstadter : So, I guess the only thing that actually stays the same is that things are always changing.
Sheldon Cooper : Interesting. So you're saying the inevitability of change might be a universal constant.
Penny Hofstadter : Well, there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah, sure.
Sheldon Cooper : [seeing Howard and Bernie on CNN] Oh. Hey, look, that's Bernadette.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I can't tell you how many times Dr. Fowler was gonna give up and I would say to her "Amy, as your best friend, I'm not gonna let you quit."
Penny Hofstadter : Okay, I'm drinking again.
Sheldon Cooper : I'll join you. Waitress, uh, 95% Hawaiian Punch, 5% vodka.
Howard Wolowitz : Let me tell you about the time Mr. Nobel Laureate wanted olives...
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [laughing] This is a good one.
Sheldon Cooper : [calling to the waitress] You know what? 90/10!
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Sheldon Cooper : What do you want, Howard?
Howard Wolowitz : We were just calling to see if you'd heard yet.
Sheldon Cooper : We haven't.
Amy Farrah Fowler : But thank you for getting up so early to call. That was very thoughtful.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, please. We have two little kids. We've been up for an hour.
Howard Wolowitz : Did anyone get to slap Sheldon?
Leonard Hofstadter : [disappointed] No.
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President Siebert : Hey, fellas. Can you do me a favor?
Raj Koothrappali : Do we have a choice?
President Siebert : [sarcastic amused laugh] Ha-ha! No. Sheldon and Amy are now officially superstars, and the press will be reaching out to their family and friends for comment. So that we're all on the same page, the word we're gonna use to describe them is "quirky". And not...
[in a deep voice]
President Siebert : ..."quirky". More like...
[more upbeat and pleasant]
President Siebert : ..."quirky"!
Howard Wolowitz : So not Mr. and Mrs. Whackadoodle?
President Siebert : [another sarcastic laugh] Ho-ho-ho! You bitter, envious little man.
Amy Farrah Fowler : [applause as she and Sheldon enter] Thank you so much.
President Siebert : [still uncomfortable, Sheldon leaves again] And what do we call that?
Leonard Hofstadter , Raj Koothrappali , Howard Wolowitz : Quirky.
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Howard Wolowitz : Can I help you?
Reporter #2 : Uh, yeah, actually. Um, I had an appointment to interview Dr. Cooper about the Nobel.
Howard Wolowitz : Hang on a second. Sheldon?
[knocking and poking his head in, he sees Sheldon's office is empty; Sheldon then pokes his head up from behind his desk and shakes his head]
Howard Wolowitz : Sorry, he's not here.
Reporter #2 : Damn. I've got a deadline.
Howard Wolowitz : I don't know if it helps you at all, but I'm his best friend in the whole world.
Reporter #2 : Really?
Howard Wolowitz : And an astronaut. Come on, you can buy me a cup of coffee, and I'll tell you about both.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why is this article about Sheldon all about you?
Howard Wolowitz : [looking over her shoulder] Let me see. Oh, good, they used my NASA picture.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why does it say that you're his best friend? Leonard's his best friend.
Howard Wolowitz : No. Leonard has always been kind of a... monkey butler. Whenever Sheldon got into a scrape, I was his go-to guy.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : When did he get into a scrape?
Howard Wolowitz : You're kidding, right? W-... remember when he had a panic attack 'cause his hand got caught in a jar of olives? I was the one who told him to let go of the olives.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Please, that doesn't make you his best friend.
Howard Wolowitz : You know, that reporter asked me if I could put him in touch with... Amy's best friend.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : That's Penny.
Howard Wolowitz : [sing-song] Doesn't have to be.