- Leslie Knope: [Turns on 'We Didn't Start the Fire'] And I'm going to sing along! And I'm going to maintain eye contact the whole time! And guess what - I don't know the words!
- Leslie Knope: [singing] Harry Truman was a guy, America, Red China, all the countries, other people, everyone is fun! Joe Mantegna, Ian McKellan, I have to buy a new toaster, this is awesome, you're so stupid, jumping up and down!
- Leslie Knope: I gave you that as a gift in your fifth anniversary as Parks director.
- Ron Swanson: You told me this was a genuine, partially defused claymore mine.
- Leslie Knope: Well, it *was*! I bought the empty shell off of eBay, and then I filled it with, you know, balloons and confetti and such.
- Ron Swanson: You mean to tell me that I have had a toy on my desk for ten years?
- Leslie Knope: You mean to tell me you've thought you had an actual landline on your desk?