How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Legendaddy (2011)
Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson
Photos
Quotes
-
Jerry Whitaker : [Jerome "Jerry" Whittaker sees Barney try to dismantle a basketball hoop over his driveway] Barney, what is going on?
Barney Stinson : This is *mine*.
Jerry Whitaker : I don't understand.
Barney Stinson : JJ gets a childhood, a dad, a real family, and a basketball hoop? No, no, I at least get the hoop, I'm taking it with me.
Jerry Whitaker : Please, just come down and talk to me.
Barney Stinson : [Angry] Why? Why should I? You're lame, okay? You're just some lame, suburban dad.
Jerry Whitaker : Why does that make you so mad?
Barney Stinson : Because if you were going to be some
[agitated]
Barney Stinson : lame, suburban dad, why couldn't you have been that for *me*?
Jerry Whitaker : Look, Barney, I know I screwed up.
Barney Stinson : Oh, "screwed up" doesn't even begin to describe what I've been through...
Jerry Whitaker : I know, I know, I KNOW! I want to fix this and I don't know how! Please, tell me what I can do! I'll do anything!
[Barney continues trying to remove the hoop, Jerry briefly goes back inside and returns with a tool box]
Jerry Whitaker : You'll never get it down like that.
[gives screwdriver to Barney, who hits hoop with it like a hammer]
Jerry Whitaker : No, Barney, Barney! Put the pointy end into the grooves. That's it, now turn it. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey.
[Barney begins unscrewing]
Jerry Whitaker : I have no good excuse, Barney. It took me years before I was even able to look myself in the mirror for the way I let you down. It took courage to send me that letter. More courage than I've ever had. I owe you a lifetime of apologies, and I, I just... I have no idea where to begin.
-
Barney Stinson : Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.
-
JJ Whitaker : I got a paper route!
Barney Stinson : Bah! Good time to get into print media right Dad?