- On a road trip, the trio dish up a hair-raising mountain climb, bomb defusals, propeller powered cars, helicopter stunts and the most thrilling race of their lives before reaching the English Channel for a jaw dropping medieval climax.
- In this second lockdown special, the trio dive into the bizarre world of French car culture. On an epic road trip starting in the Welsh hills, they dish up a hair-raising mountain climb, bomb defusals, propeller powered cars, helicopter stunts and the most thrilling race of their lives before reaching the English Channel for a jaw dropping medieval climax. And a soupcon of French art house cinema.—Prime Video
- French are weird. They take most of their medicines rectally and are not allowed to eat their lunch at their work desk. Tomato ketchup is banned in schools, but till 1980s they were served alcohol with their school dinners. Bakers can not close shop when they want, to ensure a supply of croissants and baguettes. French cars have always been weird. They fly in the face of convention.
Jeremy brings the Citroen CX Safari. Most have been turned into motor homes. The indicators don't self-cancel after making a turn as they are not connected to the steering. The cassette player is mounted vertically between the seats where food is likely to fall on it. The brakes are either on or off. Hammond selects a Matra Murena. Mid-engine, 2-seater sports car. But it has 3 seats. And has a tine 1.6 L engine, producing 88 BHP. Matra made the Exocet missile and then the Murena, it doesn't make any sense. Most cars are named after wild animals or exotic winds, but Murena is a Latin word that means "son of a plebeian family who likes eels". May brings the Renault Avantime. This was supposed to be a large luxury coupe, like the BMW 6 series. It is made of plastic and looks to be designed by a child. There are no conventional dials on the dashboard. It has the heaviest doors on any production car, and they don't open fully.
Renault has an history of automotive oddness. They once designed a car with the steering on the back side of the car. They also made the Leyat Helica, which was propelled by a propeller. It is a 2-seater, with a tiny back seat. Very noisy, and very unsafe. Hammond takes it for a drive
May looks at the Renault 4. The distance between the wheels on one side is 94 inches and on the other side is 92 inches. In the Renault 21, the engine is sideways. In a Peugeot 208, the steering wheel is under the dashboard and any normal person cannot fit into the car. Citroen 2CV which has no wind-down windows. The 2CV claims that it can be dropped from a height of 500 feet and its spring suspension will absorb the impact. They drop one from a helicopter and it splatters on the ground. Turns out Jeremy misread the quote which stated that you could drive a 2CV across a dirt track with eggs on the back seat and they would not break.
The French frequently bump their cars into other cars to fit them into parking spaces. Renault 5 was the first production car in the world with bumpers that could deform to absorb the shock of an accident. The French also manhandle their car to fit oversized appliances into it for transportation. Car is not a status symbol in France. A luxury car is considered bourgeois in France. Which is why no French car maker has made a large off-road car till date. The French use their normal family cars to drive in the hills. So, the trio select their French family cars and attack the woods. Jeremy has the Citroen Berlingo. The French don't care about the body work or the paint on their car. The French had invented the endurance rallies, such as the Paris-Peking, Paris-Dakar, Le Mans. They used what was parked in their drive. All 3 cars break down in the French woods, but they repair them and continue to the summit. The cars are totally shattered by the time they reach the summit.
The trio revert to the Murena, CX and the Avantime and proceed to their next destination. The trio agree that the oddness of the cars make them more endearing. What the trio consider as oddness was motoring pioneering. They have yellow headlights and 35% of all pop songs on the radio are French, confusing road signs all over the place. At the roundabouts the cars already on it will give way to the ones wanting to get on, which is opposite to what is done in the rest of the world. Half the world's roundabouts are in France, and they witness frequent traffic jams. The French review their cars like a philosophy session. But nothing on the actual statistics of the cars are ever mentioned.
The French cars are supposed to have superior ride quality. The car makers had to make better suspensions as the road quality was pathetic after World War II. Jeremy loves the drive quality of his Citroen CX. It has a hydro-pneumatic suspension system. It claims that 2 people can defuse a bomb in the back seat, while the car is being driven at speed across a cobbled street. They test this claim. The claim is true. They put the same bomb at the back of a BMW. Nobody survives.
The French hate being governed. When the point systems for driving demerits was introduced in the 1990s, the French blocked the motorways. Renault fired 21,000 worked in 1986, and the workers shot him down. In 2019, the Government reduced the speed limits on highways to 50 mph and the French people responded by destroying 60% of speed cameras in the country.
The trio reach Lydden Hill, the rally cross circuit. French invented motor-sport. The Governing body of all world motor-sports is based in Paris. Grand Prix is a French word. The trio plan a 20 lap race. Hammond drives a Peugeot 205 GTI 1.6 (104 BHP). Jeremy drives a Peugeot 306 GTI 6 (167 BHP). May drives a Renault Sport Clio 172 Cup. They compete with a Saxos VTS, a Renault 206 GTI and a Renault Sport Megane. They stop the race in the middle for lunch. In France, you can have Beer, Wine or Brandy before driving. By law, you cannot send any work emails on a weekend. The race resumes after lunch, but then the race marshals go on strike. Eventually, the race gets underway. There is a fierce battle, but Hammond's car dies out. The Saxos wins, with Jeremy coming in a close 2nd. The French can make spectacular cars at times
Jeremy calls the Citroen SM the most magnificent French car of all times. A coupe with a 2.7 L Maseratti V6 engine. One of the best-looking cars ever made. But all the wiring under the hood is black, so you can tell where any wire is coming or going. Has a big "Stop" button in the dashboard and it is not clear what it does. Many famous people have owned one.
The trio hate the Citroen Pluriel due to its stupid roof. They catapult the Pluriel from England to France across the channel. The trio had constructed a catapult during Covid and put it to good use. The Pluriel falls on a shed on English soil
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
Top Gap
What is the Spanish language plot outline for The Grand Tour Presents: Carnage A Trois (2021)?
Answer