- Gigi: I lost my virginity in what I thought was a park but... it turned out to be a graveyard, and now the ghost spirits live inside my eggs waiting to be reborn.
- Molly: We haven't done anything. We haven't broken any rules.
- Amy: Okay, we've broken a lot of rules. One: We have fake IDs.
- Molly: Fake college IDs, so we can get into their 24-hour library.
- Amy: Name one person whose life was so much better because they broke a couple of rules.
- Molly: Picasso.
- Amy: He broke art rules. Name a person who broke a real rule.
- Molly: Rosa Parks.
- Amy: Name another one.
- Molly: Susan B. Anthony.
- Amy: God dammit.
- Principal Brown: There's nothing more exciting and daunting than the blank page. Oh, that's good. Maybe I'll do a book of quotes.
- [He starts recording on his phone]
- Principal Brown: There's nothing more exciting or daunting than the blank page.
- Molly: Amy, do you know how many girls are gonna be up your vagina next year? Every time I come visit you, you're gonna be scissoring a different girl.
- Amy: Dude, scissoring is not a thing.
- Molly: Don't knock it until you've tried it.
- Amy: It's not a thing.
- Molly: Don't knock it until you've tried it.
- Amy: I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying it isn't a thing.
- Molly: How about you don't knock it until you've tried it?
- Jared: Prepare to get bashed! In a fun way, like consensually bashed, I mean. Consensually bashed, it should say. Prepare to get consensually bashed.
- [Amy and Molly pop up in the back of Pat's car, using their hair as masks, and scream]
- Pat the Pizza Guy: What the fuck is this?
- Molly: We ask the questions!
- Jared: So, Molly actually warned me she might be a little late and tapped me to start her speech.
- Principal Brown: Wait, wait, Molly Davidson's gonna be late to graduation?
- Jared: Yeah.
- Principal Brown: Okay, that doesn't sound like her.
- Jared: Right. Well, uh, she also asked me to remind you that... um... um... I got it. Uh... "this sort of thing happens all the time on the senate floor, and if a senator isn't present for a vote..."
- Principal Brown: Okay. Okay.
- Jared: "... a proxy..."
- Principal Brown: Great. Okay, that does sound like her.
- Jared: "... for the vote to take place... in his or her absence."
- Principal Brown: I got it.
- Amy: Sorry, are you talking about porn?
- Molly: All I'm saying...
- Amy: No.
- Molly: No one will know if you watched one porn one time. Think of it as a documentary. It's just a sexy documentary. It's a hot doc.
- Amy: All of those women are European trafficking victims.
- Molly: Excuse me, ma'am, are you judging other people's sexual preferences? 'Cause you fuck a panda every night.