It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005– )
Fran Kranz: College Student
Quotes
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College Student : [dissecting poop] Whoever it was seems to have been eating newspaper.
Dennis Reynolds : All right, well, now we're gettin' somewhere. Which one of you idiots was eating a goddamn newspaper?
Charlie Kelly : It's gonna go both ways, dude. Sorry.
Dennis Reynolds : Really?
Charlie Kelly : Yeah. What else? What else?
College Student : This appears to be a piece of a credit card.
Frank Reynolds : Inconclusive.
Dennis Reynolds : How is that not specific to one of you?
Charlie Kelly : I wish it was, man, but that's inconclusive.
College Student : Oh, boy, there's a good deal of blood in this stool. Whoever's it is should see a doctor.
Charlie Kelly : Well, don't give us judgements; just tell us what's in there. What's in there, what else?
College Student : Is this wolf hair?
Frank Reynolds : Also inconclusive.
Dennis Reynolds : Jesus Christ!