Kaput and Zösky: The Ultimate Obliterators (2002–2003)

Mark Camacho: Zösky

Quotes 

• Kaput : No more Mr. Nice Guys!

  Zösky : [shouts]  We are the new masters of the planet!

  Kaput : And anyone who resists us will be crisperized on the spot!

  [the crowds cheer] 

• Kaput : [the two just escaped from a planet of disgruntled donkeys]  So were they dumb, or what?

  Zösky : Well, Kaput, there are two different kinds of dumb people; there are those who are dumb and know it, and then there are those who are dumb and don't know it.

  Kaput : But we're not dumb, are we?

  Zösky : Oh, you and me? No, we're not dumb!

  Kaput : Oh, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

  [he waits for a while and then asks] 

  Kaput : But you still haven't what color what's-his-name's white horse was.

• Zösky : [is hanging onto a resident of Getaway who is clinging on to an escaping ship]  Gah, I'm through being nice! If you don't let go of that ladder right now, I'm warning you, I'm going to crisperize you!

  Native : But if I let go of the ladder, we're both gonna fall! On the other hand, if you crisperize me, we're still gonna fall! So I think I'll hang on right here and wait until you lose your grip and fall by yourself.

• Zösky : If you ask me, Kput, good manners are so highly overrated.

  Kaput : Tell me about it.

  [burps] 

  Kaput : Sorry, I have trouble digesting vegetables.

• Vote Register : What's your party?

  Zösky : Oh, well then, the uh - the Federation of uh, no wait, the uh, the Federation of Absolutely Ruthless Tyrants!

  Vote Register : F A R T, Kaput and Zösky of the FART. Do you have a campaign manager?

  Zösky : Uh, no.