- [Rudd fires at Riggs, hitting him several times. Riggs falls, writhing in pain. Arjen's gun clicks empty. Roger aims at him]
- Roger Murtaugh: [shouting] DROP IT, ASSHOLE!
- Martin Riggs: [weakly] Rog...
- Arjen Rudd: [holds up his wallet] Diplomatic immunity.
- [Roger slowly rolls his head on his neck, takes aim, and fires - his bullet goes through Rudd's wallet, and then his head]
- Roger Murtaugh: It's *just been revoked*!
- [after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]
- Leo Getz: They fuck you at the drive-thru, okay? They fuck you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?
- Roger Murtaugh, Martin Riggs: Shut up!
- Martin Riggs: Hey, hey. Did you get them? The bad guys? Are they all gone?
- Roger Murtaugh: Yeah. Hey, hey. They've been... de-kaffir-nated.
- [after the envoys states that Murtaugh can't go to South Africa because he's black]
- Roger Murtaugh: Of course I'm black. That's why I want to go to South Africa.
- Roger Murtaugh: [louder and more militant] To join my oppressed brothers as they take up the struggle against this racist, fascist, White Minority Regime!
- Leo Getz: Fascist White Regime!
- Roger Murtaugh: One man, one vote!
- Leo Getz: One man, one vote!
- Roger Murtaugh: [Very loud] FREE SOUTH AFRICA you *dumb son of a bitch*!
- Leo Getz: You *dumb son of a bitch*!
- Consulate Envoy: Alright, I've had as much as I'm going to take! GET OUT!
- [Security tries to remove Getz and Murtaugh, resuting in a full scale riot inside and outside the Consulate]
- [after seeing Rianne's commercial on TV]
- Martin Riggs: Hey what's with you Rog? She was great, she was beautiful.
- Mickey McGee: Yeah, I liked it. She made me want to go out and buy rubbers right now!
- Arjen "Aryan" Rudd: Mr. Getz got away. A missed opportunity and he gets away. He slips right through our fingers, and into the hands of the police.
- [catches Pieter staring at the floor around him]
- Arjen "Aryan" Rudd: What are you doing?
- Pieter Vorstedt: I was just checking to see if I was standing on plastic.
- Roger Murtaugh: George... Home!... Out!
- George: But sir, I...
- Roger Murtaugh: George, I got a gun!
- George: Yes Sir!
- [about to pull Murtaugh off the booby-trapped toilet]
- Martin Riggs: On three, what do ya say?
- Roger Murtaugh: Okay.
- Martin Riggs: One... two...
- Roger Murtaugh: Wait, wait, wait!
- Martin Riggs: What?
- Roger Murtaugh: Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three, then do it?
- Martin Riggs: It's your ass, Cochise!
- Roger Murtaugh: My ass, yeah. On three.
- Martin Riggs: We go on three?
- Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
- Martin Riggs: [a smoking Riggs and Murtaugh have been assigned to guard Leo] This stinks!
- Capt. Murphy: I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck."
- [They go to leave]
- Capt. Murphy: And Riggs.
- Capt. Murphy: What?
- [Murphy throws Riggs a desktop no smoking sign]
- Capt. Murphy: You know what that says?
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, the same thing as that.
- [Points to a no smoking sign on the door]
- Martin Riggs: But I don't give a fuck.
- [Riggs throws the sign back at Murphy, then leaves. Murphy and Murtaugh look at each other]
- Roger Murtaugh: You're lucky. I have to live with that.
- Pieter Vorstedt: I was going to offer you a drink, Riggs, but I hear you're on the wagon these days.
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, that stuff'll kill you quick. Listen, you know so much about me; who the hell are you?
- Pieter Vorstedt: I'm the guy that changed the course of your life, man. 4 years ago, Riggs, when you were a narc down in Long Beach, you were getting too close to us so we put a contract out on you. I handled it myself; drove your car right off the fucking road, remember? Now, of course, you weren't driving. You can't imagine the surprise. I pulled back this matted mop of blood-soaked hair to see this woman's face... your wife, right? She didn't die straightaway... took a bit of time.
- [Riggs angrily charges for Vorstedt, but is restrained]
- Pieter Vorstedt: Don't know much luck with women, do you, Riggs?
- [Riggs is about to drive up onto the center divider of an overpass in Trish's new car during pursuit]
- Roger Murtaugh: [anxiously] You're not going to make it!
- Martin Riggs: I'm gonna make it...
- Roger Murtaugh: No, there's not enough room!
- Martin Riggs: Sure I'll make it!
- Roger Murtaugh: [shouts] You're not gonna make it!
- [runs the car up onto the divider, scraping it along a metal guard-rail]
- Roger Murtaugh: [screams as sparks fly] Ah, my side panel!
- Martin Riggs: [ignoring Murtaugh and shouting to other driver beside them] Move over!
- Roger Murtaugh: [to other driver] Get over, motherfucker!
- [They pass the guardrail]
- Martin Riggs: Godamnit you were right, ya know? There wasn't enough room.
- [Ribbing Murtaugh about his daughter's television ad for condoms]
- Riggs: In one ear, out the RUBBER...
- Martin Riggs: Police! Open up!
- Leo Getz: How do I know it's the police?
- Martin Riggs: After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up!
- [after a wild car chase, the car looks like a wreck]
- Roger Murtaugh: This was a new car, Riggs...
- Martin Riggs: Well, it still is!
- [Riggs has dislocated his shoulder to escaped from a straight-jacket for a bet]
- Detective: How the hell do you do that man?
- Martin Riggs: Well, I dislocated my shoulder one time and I can do it whenever I want.
- Detective: God damn man, doesn't that hurt?
- Martin Riggs: Yes it does but not as much as when I put it back in!
- [Slams his shoulder into an office partition wall]
- Martin Riggs: Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
- Dr. Stephanie Woods: My door is always open.
- Martin Riggs: Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
- Dr. Stephanie Woods: Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?
- Martin Riggs: Well, who else am I supposed to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.
- [McGee uses a nail gun, Riggs and Murtaugh drop to the floor, guns drawn]
- Mickey McGee: Hey, Jesus Christ! What the hell's wrong with you guys?
- Martin Riggs: I'm sorry, that's very uncool.
- Mickey McGee: You're sorry? Check my shorts, for Christ's sake!
- George: Mr. Murtaugh has a gun.
- Martin Riggs: Yeah, but it's an old gun and he's not a very good shot.
- Martin Riggs: I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, I got a bad reputation, like sometimes I just go nuts like now ha ha!
- [after Riggs threatened Rudd in his office]
- Arjen "Aryan" Rudd: Just get out of here, Kaffir-lover!
- Martin Riggs: [pointing his gun at each of Rudd's henchman] Eeny... Meeny... Meinie...
- [points at Vorstedt for a long moment]
- Martin Riggs: [a la Curly from the Three Stooges] Hey Moe!
- [Riggs shoots the fish tank, causing water and fishes to spill everywhere]
- Martin Riggs: [mock saluting] Big Smile! Big Smile! BIG SMILE!
- [Riggs leaves]
- Trish Murtaugh: [holds up a gold pen] Is this your pen?
- Martin Riggs: Thanks,
- [takes it]
- Martin Riggs: I keep losing it.
- [he goes back to cuting up the vegetables]
- Trish Murtaugh: Something's wrong.
- Martin Riggs: Naw, not really, just another goddamn pen.
- [He ignores her for awhile]
- Trish Murtaugh: You were saying about the pen.
- Martin Riggs: Oh, it just reminds me of something thats all.
- Trish Murtaugh: Reminds you of what?
- Martin Riggs: Ah, reminds me of the night Vicki was killed.
- Trish Murtaugh: [pause] I didn't mean to push.
- Martin Riggs: Hang on that ok, we never talked about this did we.
- [pauses]
- Martin Riggs: Well, I supposed to be meeting her for dinner and you know one of those romantic dinners for two. I was up to my eyeballs in work and I forgot about the whole thing.
- [puts the cut up vegetables into a pot]
- Martin Riggs: I guess she waited in the restaurant for an hour before she decided to drive home alone. It was midnight before I got home, I got home to a ringing phone, so naturally I answered it. They told me she was killed in a car crash.
- [pauses]
- Martin Riggs: I should have been driving, I guess we would have been all right, huh. Anyway I remember falling down on my knees and I started shaking all over and I remember thinking I'm losing it, I'm losing it. So there I was lying on the living room floor. Lying there and I'm seeing under the couch and I see this gold pen. Gold pen just lying under the couch, I've been looking, haven't seen it in two months, there it is.
- [laughs slightly]
- Martin Riggs: She wasn't much of a housekeeper. And this voice goes off inside my head, kind a like a drill instructor, I really heard it. It said GET UP NOW. I didn't feel like it but I got up, muscles were still working and I drove to the hospital and identified her in the morgue and signed her out with my gold pen.
- Roger Murtaugh: [walks in] Gold pen? Hey, Trish found one in the laundry the other day.
- [Trish and Martin look at each other]
- [after falling into a hotel swimming pool]
- Martin Riggs: Where were you man? You my partner or what? Why didn't you follow me down?
- Leo Getz: Yeah, why didn't you follow him down?
- Roger Murtaugh: Shut up! From seven floors up?
- [Admiring the view over L.A]
- Roger Murtaugh: That's downtown L.A. How would you like to have a house up here?
- Martin Riggs: Well, it would be okay on the three days of the year when you can actually see it!
- Pieter Vorstedt: What is going on down here?
- Martin Riggs: Freeze dickhead! Get down here dickhead. Come on, it's been a bad day!
- [Riggs confronts Rudd and his minions in their office]
- Martin Riggs: Hey, don't bother calling the police. I'm here already.
- Arjen Rudd: I should have known.
- Martin Riggs: Well, well... it's the master race!
- Arjen Rudd: I hope you realize the trouble you are in right now.
- Martin Riggs: Well, as usual, you people have everything all upside down and turned around and back to front.
- [Riggs has accosted Rudd, Vorstedt and several other consulate thugs in Rudd's office]
- Martin Riggs: I'll make you a deal, Arjen, or Aryan, or whatever the fuck your name is, I'll make you a little deal. You fold up your tents - and get the fuck out of my country - and I won't do anything to you. I'll leave you alone.
- [points his gun at Arjen's face]
- Martin Riggs: Cause if you stick around here, I'm gonna FUCK YOUR ASS.
- [Murtaugh is holding a wounded Riggs in his arms after killing Aryan]
- Martin Riggs: Hey Rog, could you reach into my pocket there?
- [Murtaugh reaches into Riggs's pants pocket, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, thinking he wants a last smoke before he dies]
- Roger Murtaugh: Here you go.
- Martin Riggs: I, I want you to throw those things away, those things'll kill ya.
- Leo Getz: Hey hey hey! Listen, if we're going, shouldn't I have a gun?
- Martin Riggs, Roger Murtaugh: NO!
- [Vorstedt and his goons have broken into Murtaugh's house and have gagged him and Trish]
- Pieter Vorstedt: I bet you're wondering what we've done to your kids, aren't ya?
- [squeals and groans from the Murtaugh's]
- Pieter Vorstedt: I'll bet your mind is going fucking bananas, isn't it?
- [more squeals and groans]
- Pieter Vorstedt: Now this has just been a warning. Next time it will get bloody. Now you tell your people to *back off*. Don't you go being a smart kaffir. Perhaps we'll let you live, ja.
- [Vorstedt and goons leave]
- [shouting at the driver while hanging onto the bonnet of a moving car]
- Martin Riggs: I'd like to see your drivers license and proof of insurance!
- [Riggs falls of the car]
- [Riggs sitting by the shore with his dog, Sam]
- Martin Riggs: Hey, did anyone ever tell you if you sit on the rocks too long, you get piles? Come on, lets get out of here.
- [Leo Getz explaining money laundering]
- Leo Getz: Okay, okay, okay, okay, this is the best part okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius?
- Martin Riggs: You're a swindler!
- Roger Murtaugh: Cheat!
- Leo Getz: Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon!
- Rudd: Now we DO have a serious diplomatic situation here, which I will be taking up with your state department first thing in the morning.
- Riggs: Whoa, you got me quakin' in my boots, but I'm still gonna bring you down.
- Rudd: My dear officer, you could not even give me a parking ticket!... Who is the dickhead now, eh?
- [Murtaugh is lying on top of Riggs in the bath, after the explosion]
- Martin Riggs: Get off me man! I don't want anybody to see us like this!
- Rika Van Den Haas: What are you doing here?
- Martin Riggs: Oh, I've just been upstairs with your boss, shooting the breeze... shooting his fish.
- Capt. Murphy: Murtaugh, all that damage you caused downtown is comin' out of the department's budget!
- Roger: Fine. Pay it off in Krugerrands.
- Capt. Murphy: Don't make jokes, Murtaugh, make arrests!
- Nick Murtaugh: Hey, Hey, what's that your eating dad?
- Roger Murtaugh: My tuna fish sandwich
- Trish Murtaugh, Rianne Murtaugh, Nick Murtaugh, Carrie Murtaugh: TUNA!
- Carrie Murtaugh: Daddy, you can't eat tuna
- Roger Murtaugh: I can't eat what
- Carrie Murtaugh: Mom, dad killed flipper
- Trish Murtaugh: [as Rianne points to her shirt] We're boycotting tuna honey because they kill the dolphins that get's caught in the nets, ONLY albacore
- Roger Murtaugh: Alba what
- Nick Murtaugh: why don't have a ham sandwich
- Martin Riggs: Hey, eat Miss Piggy instead
- Rianne Murtaugh: [Rianne laughs and accidentally slaps Martin in the face] Oh, I'm sorry
- Martin Riggs: It's only my eye
- Roger Murtaugh: [to Martin] Ha, Ha, Ha
- Roger Murtaugh: [furious after watching Rianne's condom commercial] Trish, take the kids upstairs.
- Carrie Murtaugh: Daddy, we learn about this every day in Human Development. Chill out.
- Roger Murtaugh: [shouts] Hu- human what? Human Development what? Trish?
- Carrie Murtaugh: Development, Daddy. Chill out!
- Roger Murtaugh: Human Development!
- Trish Murtaugh: Come on, guys, upstairs, upstairs!
- [Capt. Murphy and other officers are listening to the dispatch of the opening pursuit]
- Cop #2: [entering Murphy's office] What's the pursuit, sir?
- Capt. Murphy: Got a dual pursuit - 20-William-15 and 20-William-12.
- Cop #1: Who's that?
- Detective #2: Riggs, Murtaugh.
- Capt. Murphy: And the squad.
- Detective: [flashes money] Twenty bucks on Riggs and Murtaugh!
- Cop #2: Who's driving?
- Capt. Murphy: Murtaugh, in his wife's station wagon.
- Cop #1: [to detective] I'll take a piece of that!
- Cop #2: [gets money out] Yeah, me too!
- Detective: [quickly] Wait a minute, I knew nothing about the wife's station wagon! Bet's off!
- Cop #1: Well, what are you gonna do?
- Capt. Murphy: [shouts] Hey, shut up!
- [after Riggs and Leo have a rude confrontation]
- Leo Getz: Oh I get it.
- [Points to Riggs then Murtaugh]
- Leo Getz: Bad cop, good cop.
- Roger Murtaugh: Shut up.
- Leo Getz: Oh okay, bad cop, bad cop.
- [At the South African Consulate]
- Roger Murtaugh: How you doin'?
- [his handshake is ignored by the Envoy]
- Consulate Envoy: I think there must be some mistake.
- Roger Murtaugh: Say what?
- Consulate Envoy: Listen to your friend here, he knows what he's talking about. I don't think you want to go to South Africa.
- Roger Murtaugh: Why not?
- Consulate Envoy: Because you're black!
- Leo Getz: [to Murtaugh] You are.
- [to Envoy]
- Leo Getz: He is.
- Rika Van Den Haas: Rudd's hiding behind his diplomatic credentials, isn't he?
- Riggs: He's not a very good guy, your boss.
- Rika Van Den Haas: Then whatever he's doing, he shouldn't get away with it.