Porky's (1981)
Cyril O'Reilly: Tim
Photos
Quotes
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Tim : Anybody wanna go fly a kite with me tonight? I hear it's great weather for flying KITES! I wonder if there's any KITES around here we can fly!
Brian Schwartz : Hey listen, Cavanaugh. It's not kite, it's KIKE! K-I-K-E, "kike." You know, you're too stupid to even be a good bigot!
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Mr. Cavanaugh : Look's like I'm gonna make a man out of you yet, boy.
Tim : [clearly disgusted] A man? If being a man means being what you are, I'd rather be queer.
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Tim : [pushing Brian out of his father's site and taking his place] Get outta here.
Mr. Cavanaugh : What?
Tim : You heard what I said.
Mr. Cavanaugh : Well, who ya talking to, boy?
Tim : [relaxing] Trash. Pure trash.
Mr. Cavanaugh : Now, son, that's no way to talk to your pa.
Tim : [looks back at everyone else watching then back at him] You know, I really wish you hadn't said that, because you don't know how humiliating it is to have anyone even know you're my pa.
[gets smacked hard across the face. Meat is now trying to get at Tim's father but is being held back by everyone; Tim yells at Meat]
Tim : Stay out of this!
[back to his father]
Tim : You make sure you're finished, because this is going to be the last time you ever lay a hand on me again, you SON OF A BITCH!
[is taken up against the wall and smacked repeatedly]
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Coach Goodenough : [During a basketball drill, Tim clearly trips Brian]
[He blows his whistle]
Coach Goodenough : Cavanaugh, get off the floor!
Tim : It was an accident, coach.
Coach Goodenough : Bullshit, that was no accident! Get off the floor, now! You're suspended indefinitely! No one who plays like that plays for me! MOVE!
[Tim goes, he then turns to Brian]
Coach Goodenough : You okay, son?
[Brian nods]
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Brian Schwartz : [as he and Tommy run by a layup drill, Tim catches the ball then intentionally throws it to Brian's feet]
[Sarcastically]
Brian Schwartz : Nice pass, Kavanaugh!
Tim : Too bad, Jew-boy!
Tommy Turner : Tim! What's your problem, man?
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Tommy Turner : [to the rest of the guys at Cherry Forever's house] Okay, Cherry's ready. Everyone get their clothes off.
Tim : Wait. What's this bullshit?
Billy : She's got to make sure everybody clean. No VD.
Steve : How's she going to tell that by looking at us?
Tommy Turner : She's done this so many times, she's practically a doctor.
Tim : Yeah, and who's going to inspect her?
[murmurs of agreement from the rest of the guys]
Billy : Look, you guys want to get laid or have a debate?
Pee Wee Morris : Okay, I'm ready!
[they turn to see Pee-Wee wasted no time stripping down, then laughter of all kinds go through the crowd, which Pee-Wee ignores]
Pee Wee Morris : I'm gonna get laid. Yes, Virginia. There is a Santa Claus.
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Sheriff Wallace : Well, it looks like to me we got five Angel Beach assholes here. Yes, sir. Five walkin' talkin' rectums.
[Sheriff chuckles; to Mickey]
Sheriff Wallace : Where's your car, boy?
Mickey : [points to his Ford pick-up truck] Right there.
Sheriff Wallace : You from Seward County?
Mickey : Yeah.
Sheriff Wallace : Well, I don't know much about the laws in Seward County, but we got laws here about driving with busted headlights.
Mickey : I don't have a busted headlight.
Sheriff Wallace : Don't have a busted headlight?
[the Sheriff smashes the right-side headlight of Mickey's truck; Porky and his goons laughs]
Mickey : [shocked] Shit!
Sheriff Wallace : That's a $35.00 fine. Thirty-five bucks or a night in jail!
Tommy Turner : I've got fifteen bucks.
Pee Wee Morris : I've got-I've got five.
Sheriff Wallace : You got five, you got fifteen, huh?
Meat : I've got twelve.
Tim : I think I got three.
Porky : [to his goons] Watch this.
[the Sheriff then smashes the rear right-side taillight]
Mickey : [grows angry] Goddamn it!
[Porky and his goons laughing]
Sheriff Wallace : You got a busted taillight, too. That's 20 more dollars. Can you cover it?
Mickey : I've got ten.
Sheriff Wallace : Give it to me! Give me all you got.
[the Sheriff starts collecting the boys money, but stops midway]
Sheriff Wallace : Well, I guess I can show a little leniency for first offenders. Whadaya say, Pork? Should I give these nice lads a break?
Porky : Oh, they seem like a nice bunch of clean-cut Angel Beach pussies. A little smelly. Yeah, give 'em a break.
Sheriff Wallace : You heard the man. You get your candy-asses back over to Seward County and you keep 'em there. This here's a "man's" county. Go on, get the fuck out. Go on. Go on!
[the boys pile up in Mickey's truck]
Sheriff Wallace : Go on. Here we go! Here we go! Goin' home now, ain't we?
Porky : [to his goons] I don't think they'll be comin' back. Let's go back inside and get some beer.