Tales from the Darkside
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- DirectorBob BalabanStarsBarnard HughesI.M. HobsonMax WrightTown miser Gideon Hackles spends Halloween hiding IOU's in his house, which he then rigs as haunted and invites local kids to search for the IOU's so he can scare them. This year, he gets his comeuppance.While I was searching through Clive Barker's filmography to find what is left for me to see, I ran into TV series Tales from the Darkside for which he did one episode. Although I already follow too many TV series and I definitely have no time to squeeze more, I simply couldn't resist. 80's horror is my weak spot, so because of one episode made by Barker I ended up watching 90 episodes. Fortunately, episodes are just around 20 minutes long.
Pilot tells us story of old miser who owns most of the town by having almost everyone in debt. Every Halloween he invites town kinds to come to his house and find papers with their parent's debts. If they find them debts will be forgiven. He plays fair by having papers relatively easy to find, but his house is turned into very scary house of horror and for many years he succeeds to scare all kids away before they find the papers. But this year things don't follow his plans...
Plot is satisfying, acting too. Effects are good for 1983. and atmosphere is just right. It's far from masterpiece, or from horror, more like Gremlins and similar 80's movies, but it's worth watching, especially if you are fan of 80's B production.
There's bunch of known actors guest starring in this show, and in pilot episode we have Max Wright, Willie Tanner from legendary Alf.
6/10 - DirectorFrank De PalmaStarsVic TaybackChris HebertKelly Jean PetersA reformed alcoholic is visited by his young son Jerry; but he doesn't have a son called Jerry.Although this technically isn't a horror, it was scarier to me than most of "real" horrors of its time. Realistic, without any special effects, excellent performance of Vic Tayback in role of treated alcoholic who experiences complete breakdown will creep you out to the core.
7,5/10 - 1983–198822mTV-146.4 (518)TV EpisodeDirectorJohn HarrisonStarsKeenan WynnGeorge PetrieMichael FreemanWily millionaire Duncan Williams engages his longtime acquaintance Jack Blaine in a cat & mouse game ... by offering Jack one million dollars for his mortal soul.Story about two old men who didn't choose the means to get reach. One of them claims he does not believe in existence of soul, so the other one decides to teach him a lesson by offering him one million dollars to buy his soul. As he does not believe in it he has no reason not to sell it and earn his easiest million ever. But once contract was made they both start to realize that some things are not meant to play with. Idea is interesting, but episode didn't succeed to stay on the level till the end.
6/10 - DirectorArmand MastroianniStarsFarley GrangerPeggy CassLou JacobiHarvey Turman suffers from both back pain and his nagging wife Nadine. Dr. Roebuck finds nothing physically wrong, concludes that the problem is caused by latent anger toward Nadine, & suggests uxoricide to kill ALL Harvey's pain.It seemed lousy, but surprised me with ending twist.
5,5/10 - DirectorJames Steven SadwithStarsDanny AielloTom NoonanRobert WeilBookie Tom Vale never refuses a bet. Bettor Bill Lacey only bets long shots and beats impossible odds each time. Lacey's latest bet is that Vale will die of natural causes by 8:00 am tomorrow.They added some well known faces in this show. Danny Aiello is great in leading role. The best episode so far.
7,5/10 - DirectorTimna RanonStarsJustine BatemanTippi HedrenGeorge SimsMookie and Pookie are twins. Computer whiz Mookie is terminally ill. But not even death can sever the bond that exists between the two siblings when his knowledge of technology follows him into the afterlife.Twin brother is terminally ill, finds his way to transfer himself to internet, but has no time to finish the program. He asks his twin sister to finish it for hi, but after he dies parents decide to sell the computer. Episode does not fit into series because it does not have horror elements, but it is probably the most entertaining one so far.
7,5/10 - DirectorMichael GornickStarsDavid Patrick KellyPhilip CasnoffKerry ArmstrongWhen graphic designer Rich Hall fails to receive timely news about the outcome of a job interview, he begins to discover that he is slowly ceasing to exist.Richard is slipping from existence. They misplace his paycheck, his portfolio, he can not find his birth certificate, his car is mysteriously registered on his wife's maiden name, friends forget to invite him to high-school reunion, even his mother doesn't recognize him. It goes like that until he finally disappears. Premise that could have been used for great movie. 90+ minutes would give opportunity for story to develops slowly, to show some background and give some characterization to lead role. They could build atmosphere gradually and let the story culminate once we connected with Richard. But this way, put in just 20 minutes episode, story ended before it even began properly, so it left me completely indifferent. Shame, it had real potential for greatness.
5/10 - DirectorTom SaviniStarsFritz WeaverRoberta WeissPaul SparerWhat is scurrying around inside the closet of the upstairs room that grad student Gail Aynsley rents from veterinary school dean Dr. Fenner? Gail doesn't know, but she is determined to find out and Dr Fenner isn't telling.Finally what I started to watch this show for. Really good horror episode that kept me on the edge of the chair in suspension, while having goosebumps up and down my spine. Nothing new or original, but that's the very reason it's so effective. Episode that aims for the biggest childhood fears, fears we all have buried somewhere in subconscience. Is there a monster in the closet? What's that noise under the bed? May I sleep with lights on tonight? Sounds silly, but it works better than I'm comfortable to admit. If my bed had legs I doubt I would be able to fall asleep tonight. Although the monster is well done for that time and budget and it appears at the end, I think episode would be even more effective if it wasn't shown at all. Fear of unknown is the greatest fear of humanity, and there's no monster that can scare you more than one whose presence you feel but can not see.
Dear parents, thank you for having sofa beds instead of beds with empty space under, so I never had to fear what's under the bed at night. This kind of small things make happy childhood.
8/10
!!! SPOILER ALERT !!!
I think that monster is doctor's daughter whose mother is stuffed ape that we can see on the wall on several occasions. I can't see other reason for that stuffed monkey having as much screen time, or for monster looking so much like ape, or for doctor's attitude towards it. Is there anyone willing to share their opinion? - 1983–198820mTV-147.1 (571)TV EpisodeDirectorMichael GornickStarsBruce DavisonKaren ShalloPatrick PiccininniStruggling writer Richard Hagstrom receives an upgraded computer from his computer-whiz nephew Jonathan right before Jonathan dies in an accident. Thanks to Jonathan, this word processor has the power to grant any wish that Richard desires.20 minutes never was, isn't and never will be enough time for decent adaptation of Stephen King. Story is of course good, but so intensely hasty and compacted that it loses any meaning. It does not have that recognizable King's charm at all and if I didn't know it was King adaptation I would never guess.
So, if you had computer that by pressing Enter button makes real whatever you typed on the screen, but from the moment you realized that till complete overload and breaking down you have just a few minutes available, what would you type? Let's say, first three things that would came to your mind in those few minutes of excitement, shock and panic?
5/10 - 1983–198821mTV-147.3 (564)TV EpisodeDirectorGerald CottsStarsEddie BrackenBill McCutcheonTresa HughesJodie and his mum are grief-stricken by the passing away of Jodie's grandfather, but they soon find themselves with a lot more to be upset about when he gets determined not to stay dead.It does not matter if you are watching whole show or not, because every episode stands by itself as short movie, and this one you don't want to miss. While series is mostly based on horror and mystery, this episode is comedy. Of course, to preserve spirit of the show it is black comedy. Mother and son are just about to eat when grandpa who passed away last night decides to join their meal. Family, doctor, priest, undertaker, everyone tries to explain him that he's dead and he shouldn't just walk around like nothing happened, but old man is too stubborn to even listen, so he puts them all in uncomfortably but funny situations. In this episode young Christian Slater plays one of his earliest roles.
8/10 - DirectorShelley LevinsonStarsCharles LevinColleen CampKareem Abdul-JabbarMental patient Danny Squires tells his unseen psychiatrist the story of how his wife Connie purchased an old lamp, rubbed it, and brought an ill-tempered genie into their lives.Young married couple who just started to live together during shopping for their new apartment runs into ancient lamp. But what they expect from magic lamp is not necessarily in line with Djinn's point of view. And this Djinn is everything but what they hoped for. Just rub the lamp and terror can begin. This is once again comic episode and I loved it until they spoiled everything with lousy ending. I would rate it higher if ending twist wasn't complete disappointment.
6/10 - 1983–198822mTV-145.2 (376)TV EpisodeDirectorFrank De PalmaStarsHarry AndersonMarcie BarkinDick MillerThe life of failed TV screenwriter Leon is taken over by a voice that emanates from inside his answering machine.Creepy story that points out how machines became inseparable parts of our everyday lives and how they in some way take over our lives cause we are more and more incapable to run our lives without them. Acting is great, story is smart, but for some reason I didn't like this episode at all. I didn't enjoy it and it left me completely indifferent.
5/10 - DirectorTheodore GershunyStarsDorothy LymanCarmen MathewsTeri KeaneSoft-hearted Catherine makes a living as a tarot card reader but faces a crisis of conscience in the process.Boring and needlessly cruel.
5/10 - DirectorJohn StrysikStarsAlice GhostleyMario RoccuzzoFredrica DukeHenry and Elinor Colander are preparing to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary with a special dinner. Hiker Sybil has just broken up with her boyfriend, so they invite her to join them.Like in the most episodes this one also has predictable ending, but it does not spoil overall impression too much. Good acting and very disturbing atmosphere. Although I knew precisely what ending twist will be I still felt uncomfortable through whole episode.
8/10 - DirectorTerence CahalanStarsCarol KaneBud CortEd KenneyWarlock Abe North and hairdresser Anne MacColl do battle over a winning lottery ticket.Something's off about this one. I can't point finger at it, but it feels lame.
4/10 - DirectorRichard FriedmanStarsJean MarshPaul SparerJoan Matlin's an English actress living in a NYC sublet. She's unable to get any rest - being constantly annoyed by the sound of a ringing phone from the apartment next door.In spite of very good performance of Jean Marsh, who plays the only role in this episode, it's pretty much boring and predictable one. Although it's just 20 minutes long I almost fell asleep.
5/10 - DirectorJohn DrimmerStarsJessica HarperVictor GarberLinda Lee JohnsonA young woman who can't stop crying meets a mysterious man who collects tears.As I can see from other reviews, this episode may seem to be unfinished, unexplained and even pointless. But if you're openminded and approach it without expectations, if you see it for what it is rather than within the context of the series, you may find it to be real gem. It's deeper and more meaningful than most of previous episodes and, although it does not explain everything in details, it's pretty much obvious what happened here and what message it is trying to send. Some say that end has no sense and connection with main plot, but those obviously didn't really see this episode or didn't understand it at all. Performance of Jessica Harper was beautiful.
7/10 - DirectorJohn HayesStarsStuart WhitmanNick BenedictTherese PareA wealthy couple finds an extra room in their house with the help of a Ouija board.One of better episodes and, although bit predictable, it's not so obvious. Quality is contributed by two veterans, director John Hayes and lead actor Stuart Withman who has nearly 200 movies in his career, both active since 50's and with one Oscar nomination each. It's not brilliant, but I liked it a lot.
7/10 - DirectorArmand MastroianniStarsDick ShawnHarry GozJohn ZarchenGubernatorial candidate Bo Gumbs' belief that politics is nothing more than entertainment, is helpedl at a hotel where the bellboy and maid help him get ready to show the public his true colors.Nice satire of politics.
8/10 - DirectorJohn HarrisonStarsJoe TurkelBrad CowgillCynthia FrostTwo young hecklers goad once-great circus magician Kharma into reviving his legendary wireless levitation trick, which he abandoned years ago because it went horribly wrong.This episode features Joe Turkel, actor we remember from Paths of Glory, The Shining and Blade Runner. He plays once famous magician who now performs cheap tricks in even cheaper road show. But his dedicated fan finds him and starts to pressure him to perform real magic he was once famous for. Episode definitely isn't horror, but it is dark and creepy and this time ending twist was pretty awesome.
8/10 - 1983–198822mTV-145.6 (339)TV EpisodeDirectorFrank De PalmaStarsVince EdwardsJames HongEllen WinthropUnsavory real estate developer Carl Gropper pays Chinese laundry man Chow Ting to perform an expensive special service: washing away all of Gropper's sins.The worst episode so far. It has decent idea behind it, but it's lousy developed and ended up being boring and stupid morality lesson.
4/10 - DirectorTimna RanonStarsRichard RomanusSam AndersonHoward DaytonChain smoker Frank Bigalow is imprisoned in a simulacrum of his apartment, then forced to quit smoking and punished each time he lights up.Definitely the best episode so far. Non-smokers could not possibly imagine depths of horror this episode represent to smokers, while people who find highlight of a day in coffee and cigarettes will understand why I rated this story ten out of ten.
10/10 - DirectorWarner ShookStarsJane ConnellKate McGregor-StewartPaul AveryGiven one last wish to enliven her days before she is moved into the Tranquil Gardens retirement home, elderly Grandma sees to it that her self-centered family finds out what it's like to grow old.This episode is completely messy. I suppose it was meant to be funny, but it ended up irritating and pretty much stupid. Compared to this one, It All Comes Out in the Wash is good.
4/10 - DirectorGerald CottsStarsRonee BlakleyJustin DeasAnn HillaryA young woman depends on an astrology machine to help her make all her decisions.Stupidity level unbelievable. Really terrible way to end a season and disgrace for overall good series. Three out of four last episodes are so terrible that I'm not sure if I want to continue with next season.
2,5/10 - DirectorArmand MastroianniStarsChuck McCannBobby Di CiccoJack AndreozziNightclub impressionist Spiffy Remo is blackmailed into helping the government establish communication with Hoffgosh, a seemingly hostile alien who holds the secret to nuclear fusion.
- DirectorFrank De PalmaStarsBill MacyRobert RieselSamantha HarperA CEO working himself to death receives an offer of a special service designed to keep him alive.
- 1983–198822mTV-145.8 (304)TV EpisodeDirectorTheodore GershunyStarsJohn HeardPenelope Ann MillerCaris CorfmanDeath Row inmate Billy Malone tells a journalist of how he survived an earthquake and found a portal to another dimension. Out of that portal popped young Keena, whose ensuing relationship with Billy seals his fate.
- DirectorRichard FriedmanStarsAdolph CaesarRosetta LeNoireDonna BullockAfter Linda, a landlady, speaks to her tenant, Mars Gillis, who she wants to move out of the parlour floor front apartment, bad things start happening all over the apartment she and her husband live in, and suspect it's Mars's voodoo.
- DirectorTom SaviniStarsRoy PooleTim ChoateDavid K. VarneyNasty old Mr Killup uses Halloween to taunt kids. This year, he's in for a surprise, from which even his long-suffering son Michael cannot save him.
- DirectorJohn HarrisonStarsMichael WarrenLisa BonetPhilip RothStruggling composer Pete Bancroft is contacted by strange Wilson Farber, who has invented a synthesizer that can read minds and may be able to help Bancroft in his career.
- DirectorMichael GornickStarsJerry StillerTodd OlesonPatrick FarrellyA hate-filled host of a radio call-in show discovers where his anger and cynicism leads.
- DirectorBill TravisStarsDarren McGavinLenny von DohlenDavid MarguliesMr. Smith is a cult follower of the failed 60's TV show MAX PARADISE and approaches Hollywood studio executives about recreating it, despite the reluctance of its now-alcoholic leading man Van Conway.
- 1983–198822mTV-145.9 (284)TV EpisodeDirectorT.J. CastronovoStarsPhyllis DillerLawrence TierneyAnita DanglerMrs. Knudsen enlists the aid of bumbling occult students Jack and Nora Mills to exorcise Aisha Candisha, the demon who is possessing her now-goat-footed daughter Mary Jane. The price? Fifty thousand dollars.The worst episode so far
I suppose this was meant to be a parody of "The Exorcist", but unfortunately, it isn't funny at all. It is just plain stupid. It is hard to decide what is worse - screenplay or acting. Complete failure. After a quite decent first season, which I rated six out of ten, the second season goes from bad to worse and I'm at the edge of giving up on the entire show. So far, my average rating for the first nine episodes is around four out of ten and it seems it won't improve, so I'll probably stop wasting my time. This episode deserves a zero, but there's no such thing on IMDb. One out of ten is reserved for the things I couldn't force myself to finish and for some reason I did watch this crap in its entirety.
2/10 - DirectorTheodore GershunyStarsMarilyn JonesTimothy CarhartJamie OharRichard and Joan's birthday gift for their daughter Susie is a large stuffed teddy bear ... or is it?Goldilocks and the Two Bears
A little girl gets a teddy bear for a birthday and from that moment on she starts to constantly blame her new toy for every mischief. The mother is at the edge of the nerves, partly for constant damage, but more because she can not handle her daughter's lies. But does the little one really lie ?! Although the premise is quite unoriginal and dull, acting, directing and music achieve enviable level of creepiness, and this is one of the rare episodes that deserves to be called a horror.
7/10 - DirectorMark JeanStarsSusan StrasbergBen MarleyJudith-Marie BerganArtist Kate Collins is afraid to recycle her old canvasses by painting over them because she thinks doing so is bad karma. She soon learns that she has the power to change reality.
- DirectorJames Steven SadwithStarsGreg MullaveySeth GreenBeth McDonaldBiff doesn't understand children well and winds up at odds with his new wife Helen's young son Timmy, whose life is already complicated by the monsters that Timmy finds in his bedroom.Horror for kids
Cute symbolism and a fairly frightening atmosphere ... if you have a single-digit number of years. In that case you will probably sleep with the light turned on for quite some time. If you are a horror fan this will bore you. It is not crap, but it is waste of time. Second season is nowhere near the first one.
5/10 - DirectorWarner ShookStarsFritz WeaverAnthony HealdKate McGregor-StewartAn amateur astronomer makes a surprising discovery about Halley's Comet after a young woman falls out of his telescope.
- DirectorTimna RanonStarsCarolyn SeymourJon CedarLou CutellA theatrical director finds herself trapped along with her colleagues in a dreamlike world created by a stagehand.
- DirectorJohn StrysikStarsMarie WindsorRobert RothmanBen FrankArchie Fenton moves into the St. George Apartments, where the lease has caveats: he must take out the trash every night, and he must not hang pictures on the walls. These aren't the only strange things about the St George.4,5/10
- DirectorJohn HarrisonStarsLarry ManettiCharles KnappKate CharlesonA desperate, frustrated writer and auteur is convinced by a shady oversized producer to use animal sacrifices to become successful. Things don't go as planned.
- DirectorChristopher T. WelchStarsLorna LuftColeen GrayVirginya KeehneCecilia Matthews has turned her daughter Christine's bedroom into a shrine. But Christine didn't die; she merely suffered a nervous breakdown, has recovered, and is coming for a visit. But there's a new tenant.
- DirectorRichard FriedmanStarsPaul DooleyJohn FiedlerKathy McLainA traveling salesman has a ghostly date with an attractive woman in a motel, which turns ominous.
- DirectorJohn StrysikStarsBegonya PlazaMary CarverLouis GussA pretty university student named Stacey (Begona Plaza) waits to board a train that will take her home for Thanksgiving. However Stacey soon discovers there is something unusual and terrifying about the last car of this train.So far, this is the best episode of the second season. It is very disturbing, developing the story and building an eerie atmosphere slowly and gradually, which is quite a success considering duration of just 20 minutes. I had serious case of goosebumps.
8/10 - DirectorGerald CottsStarsAbe VigodaDavid ChandlerRalph MonacoMobster Jake Corelli has terminal cancer. A stranger promises him his choice of dreams and power over death. The price is ten million dollars.
- DirectorTheodore GershunyStarsHarsh NayyarMarcia CrossPatrick KilpatrickA doctor makes a house call and finds his patients are vampiresNaive, linear, unoriginal, but surprisingly romantic and sexy. One of the earliest roles of Marcia Cross, who later became famous in "Melrose Place" and "Desperate Housewives". At the time, she was only 24 years old and she is truly enchanting in the role of a vampire who falls in love with the mortal.
7/10 - DirectorDusty NelsonStarsConnie StevensCarolyn Ann ClarkRichard KuhlmanTelevangelist Farley Bright, the founder of the Church of the Bright Tomorrow, has died recently. Three greedy relatives gather for the reading of his will. But Farley hasn't finished communicating with them yet.
- DirectorJohn LewisStarsSherman HowardAnne LangeLeon RussomAt an Army recruiting station in Arizona, Arnold Barker asks for protection from the Coopers, who are trying to hold him hostage as "The Human Balloon" in their circus. However, the Coopers are nearby and have a different story to tell.
- DirectorFrank De PalmaStarsJoe CorteseCatherine ParksScott LincolnBeautiful Gina Casavin claims to be under the spell of a decades-old family curse, because everyone with whom she falls in love dies mysteriously.